The Family That Should Have Been
by stylish-kid-in-the-riot
Summary: Sam is kidnapped as a small child & raised under a different name in a horrible environment. Dean never gave up the search for his brother, even when everyone else did. What happens when he finds him by complete coincidence? Better summary inside!
1. Chapter 1

A/N 1: I know that I have 2 unfinished fics here, and I do plan on finishing them at somepoint...

So I decided to get back into writing Fanfiction after reading this wonderful prompt:

Kidnapped from Beckalooby at OhSam on LiveJournal:

_Sam was taken as a small child, by humans, bad ones, and raised under a different name, abused, turned against the whole world. Although his father gave up, Dean never stopped looking for his brother, after John dies, he forgets about hunting monsters and turns his full attention to finding his brother. Eventually he tracks him down, but Sam is not the kid he remembered, he's angry, he fights, bites, scratches anything that comes near, maybe he's mute etc. (Or maybe he's too compliant, does things Dean says without even blinking, he takes orders scarily fast like he's been trained to just do anything anyone says without question.) Doesn't believe a word Dean says even when he shows him pictures of them as kids (maybe Sam has a very distinct birthmark that is in the kid pic and on him now as a teenager.) But through hard times and Dean saving Sam's life over and over, he sees this stranger might actually be his brother after all._

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own Supernatural or anything to do with the show. I'm merely playing around with characters invented by someone else, and a plot given to me by someone else :)

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><p><span>The Family That Should Have Been<span>

Dean knocked on the door of the shabbiest looking house in the street. He thought to himself that his brother would probably have had a house on a street like this one, but not this house, and for all he knew his brother could well have a house on a street like this somewhere and he'd be none the wiser. Jamming the pain and grief that came up any time he thought about his brother down with an inner iron fist he steeled himself as he knocked on the door again, almost putting his fist through the partially rotting wood. '_How the hell they are allowed to keep their house like that in this type of suburbia I'll never know...' _he thought, huffing to himself as the door opened to reveal an even shabbier looking middle aged man.

"Good afternoon sir, Daniel Bespoke?" the man nodded as Dean continued "I'm Agent Brian Rudd, FBI, mind if I ask you a few questions regarding your wife, one Marsha Bespoke?" Dean said, flashing his 'FBI' badge as he spoke.

"Don' see why you guys are here" Daniel said narrowing his eyes as he looked from Deans face to the badge and back again, "Some'a your guys already been down to look around and didn't find anything worth lookin' into so they upped an' left."

"Yeah that's actually why I'm here, they sent their findings to my department, so I've been sent down to tie up a few things and complete their investigation, now if you don't mind Sir, I'd really appreciate if we could do this inside?" Dean replied while motioning to the door. Daniel stepped aside and invited him in with a wave of his arm. Walking in front of Dean, Daniel sat down on one of the couches while motioning to Dean to sit down on the other one, as he picked up a stubbed out half used cigarette from the ashtray on the table in between them, re-lighting it. "So...um... what did you wanna know?" Daniel asked.

"If you could just recap what you told my colleagues that would be a great start Sir, and if there's anything else I need to know I'll pick it up with you at the end". After that Daniel Bespoke told Dean the story of how his wife had been quite literally ripped apart in front of his very eyes, while he was held immobile against the wall by some kind of invisible force, "that wall there in the kitchen" Daniel said pointing into the kitchen. He'd told Dean how the front door had burst open in a gust of wind, the same gust of wind that held him against the wall while holding Marsha in the same manner but in the middle of the kitchen floor. The invisible force had cut of his "darling Marsha's voice", stopping her from screaming as he was held and forced to watch her skin being torn from her body, then her organs being torn open and finally her heart disintegrating to a powdery dust as it took its last beat, her body falling to the floor.

"I'm sorry you had to see that Mr Bespoke, I really am. I know how hard it can be to lose a loved one," Dean said - and know this he did, having lost his mother and father and having had his little brother missing for 14 years now - "Can you think of anyone who would want revenge on your wife? Is there anyone she had wronged in her life?"

"What in the hell kinda... No, Marsha was a great person. Everyone loved her! How dare you..." Daniel said as his voice raised with each word, and as Daniel stood up, Dean stood up too thinking '_yeah sure she was buddy, that's why your getting so overprotective and cagey_'.

Instead Dean said "Ok, I'm going to have to ask you to calm down Sir" and holding his hands up in a placating manner he calmed his voice and continued "It's just that usually in these kinds of cases the victim has been targeted as some kind of revenge" and sat back down as Daniel did.

"I'm sorry Agent, I just can't get over it, and I get angry every time I think about it, and how I was just stood there and couldn't do anything to help her..." Daniel trailed off as Dean replied "I understand Sir, no harm meant. Now I'll need to examine the house, starting with the kitchen..." Daniel interrupted him, cutting him off "The other guys who were here already done that, why d'you gotta do it again? They miss something?" He stopped what he was saying as a thinner, younger, and altogether scruffier looking boy walked into the room from the kitchen wearing a vest and trousers that looked like they were both far too wide for him, carrying a neatly folded pile of washing. Dean stood up extending his hand "Hi there, Agent Brian Rudd - FBI, and you are...?"

The young man just looked at him with widening eyes and then to Daniel, taking a step back from Deans hand and into the wall in the process. "His name is Andrew, he's our son." Dean turned to look at Daniel opening his mouth, but before he could get his question out Daniel said "Andrew has a personality disorder, he doesn't really speak to strangers, can't even get him to speak to us at the best of times." Walking over to Andrew, Daniel put his hand over his shoulder squeezing it, and Andrew seemed to flinch at the touch. "Why don't you go on upstairs Andrew, I'll be up to see you when I'm finished talking with Agent Rudd here" Dean noticed that Andrew seemed to pale slightly at that, but that he turned and hurried up the stairs, almost dropping the pile of washing in his haste. That wasn't what troubled Dean the most though, it was the mark on the guys upper right arm that looked like a very old burn scar '_What the hell? No, no way' _he thought, while trying to compose himself. He hadn't seen a mark like that in a place like that since the night before Sam had vanished.

"Uh, I think we're finished here for now anyway Mr Bespoke" Dean said, suddenly needing to be out of that house and back in his motel room in front of the laptop, digging up more information on the Bespoke family than the basic information he already had. "If I need anymore information then I'll be in touch in the next few days". As an afterthought he added "Is there anytime that's not convenient for me to call in and speak with you? I'd really like to tie this up as quickly as possible".

Daniel looked him up and down before replying "No I'm usually always home, except for Tuesday mornings when I go grocery shopping". All the while thinking '_Ohgodohgodohgod_' and stopping himself from running up the stairs to question Andrew, Dean managed to respond "That's great, I'll be sure to call in tomorrow then after you're finished shopping".

After leaving the house Dean almost ran to the Impala, and once he was behind the wheel of his baby he turned back to look at the house, Daniel only just getting to close the door. Dean drove around to the next street, almost doing an emergency stop as he pulled over to the side of the road and put the car into Park. He pulled out his wallet, taking out one of the two photos with the well worn folds in it and opening it up. It was a photo of Dean, John and Sam, the three Winchester males on a camping trip in the Woods, one year before their little family had been torn apart and had never been put back together. Sam had a bandage on the top of his right arm in the photo, which was what Dean was currently focusing on. '_No it's too easy, it can't be, can it? How? Oh God, what if? And dad said... But how? Not possible'_ Dean tried to reason, and this inner mantra repeated as he wiped the unshed tears from his eyes, put the photo back in his wallet, put the car back into drive and drove to the motel to gather much more need information on the Bespoke family and 'Andrew'.

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><p>After hearing Agent Rudd leave the house and watching him drive away, Andrew ran up to the cluttered attic, knowing that it would only delay the only inevitable outcome by a few minutes at best. '<em>Why the hell weren't you paying attention, should have stayed in the kitchen till the Agent was gone. What the hell have you done? Why do you always muck everything up?' <em>he inwardly reprimanded himself. Hearing Daniels boots coming up the stairs he shifted further into the corner he'd curled himself up in, wishing that one of these days he'd get lucky and the wall behind him would actually open up and swallow him whole. "Andrew! Get the fuck down here now!" he heard Daniel calling out for him as the footsteps grew that little bit closer "Don't make me come up there an' find you, you know what happens when we play that game!" Although he did know what happened when they played that game, after 14 years he still remained hopeful that one day Daniel wouldn't find him and that he could put off the inevitable beating. He felt his hair grabbed and he was pulled out of the corner by the grip on his hair.

"Ah! Please don't. I promise I didn't know anyone was in!" Andrew said, hoping again to stop the beating that was to come, but knowing better than to try to move Daniels hands from his hair. "I didn't know blahblahblah... How many times do we have to go through this Andrew?" Daniel said as he released his grip on Andrew, pushing the now trembling 21 year old to kneel on the floor in front of him. "Maybe I should just put the bullet in your head that I should have put in there years ago huh? Then my problems will maybe all be over" he continued, circling Andrew like a predator circles it's prey before the attack. Daniel hit from on his back and he fell forward onto the carpet, hitting his face off the floor. He was then kicked on the side a few times with Daniels steel toe-capped boot before being rolled over with the same boot. Gasping for breath, he felt himself being pulled up by the hair again, and the next thing Andrew saw was Daniels fist coming towards his face and everything went blank.

In his dreams Andrew sometimes dreamt of living with an older man and a young boy, it all seemed so familiar and yet unfamiliar at the same time. It always started out as a happy dream, where he had the family that he longed for but had never had, but he was never called Andrew, the man and boy called him Sam. The dreams always ended in the same way though. The man and boy always turned him away in different ways, sometimes they threw him out in the street with his belongings, or with nothing, sometimes they threw him out of a big black car while it was still moving, or they dropped him off at an orphanage, sometimes they killed him on the spot for what he was. Although the scenarios were different, the words always the same "You're filthy, a whore, dirty boy, evil, user ... need to be punished ... don't deserve to be loved...don't deserve a family" He always woke from those dreams sitting bolt upright, sweating and gasping for breath.

Bolting upright out of his most recent dream, where the man and boy had thrown him into the Bespokes cellar, Andrew noticed he was in his bed, which not only meant that Daniel had hit him so hard with that punch that he'd not regained consciousness through the rest of the beating, but that Daniel had also carried him down to his bed. Andrew couldn't suppress the shiver that ran through him at that thought as his hand instinctively moved behind him. He found that he was aching all over. There was also blood on the sheets he was lying on, which meant he was sleeping on the threadbare carpet tonight while the sheets dried. Getting up he did a once over of his injuries in the broken mirror, '_more of the same', _which to Andrew was a black eye, burst lip, bruised ribs and a few cigarette burns, sometimes more sometimes less. He then checked the time and the clock read 4.30am, he went downstairs and started cleaning up the living room before making Daniel his breakfast.

It was this time alone before Daniel woke up that Andrew got what little enjoyment he had in life. It was the only real time he had to be truly alone except from when Daniel went grocery shopping. Instead of trying to run, which he'd tried twice, during that alone time and paid for it for two months after each attempt, Andrew found that he preferred the time alone. He could sit on the furniture and put the TV on, always making sure to smooth out the cushions and turn the TV off so that the set had time to cool down before Daniel got home and checked it.

As Daniels breakfast was cooking, Andrew continued tidying the array of empty beer bottles, crisp packets and burnt pieces of foil from the living room table thinking to himself '_looks like he had a good night last night' _closely followed by '_he's still gonna be pissed when he gets up'. _As if on cue, around 7am, he heard Daniel moving around upstairs and he hurried back to the kitchen dumping the rubbish in the bin. Having already set the kitchen table for Daniel to have his breakfast, Andrew put out the fried breakfast to Daniels specifications and just managed to put the plate on the table as Daniel walked through the door from the living room. "Gettin' sloppy there are we?" Daniel said as he sat down in front of the meal. Andrew stood to the side of him and after tasting the first bite Daniel said "You can sit now" around chewing on the second bite, and Andrew sat in the seat across the table from him. "Now Andrew, while I'm out today you are not to let anyone in this house, and I mean anyone, are we clear?" Andrew nodded and Daniel carried on, "And if for some reason that FBI guy comes, don't let him in. But I know you and how much you like to slip up, so, if he does find a way in Do Not let him into any other room but the front room. You got that?" Andrew nodded. "Think you can manage that one simple task?" Andrew nodded again, not taking his eyes from the table and said "Yes Mr Bespoke".

"Good, now you go and make yourself breakfast" Daniel said around another mouthful of food, and he sat and watched Andrew prepare his slice of toast and glass of milk. By the time Andrew had made his toast Daniel was halfway through his fried breakfast. He brought it back to the table and put it down as Daniel motioned for him to sit, and waited for Daniel to finish his breakfast before eating his own. After Andrew was finished his toast and milk Daniel got up and slapped him on the head "Did I tell you to start eating asshole?" he asked. Andrew looked at the table again and said "No, I'm sorry, I should have known better to wait for you. Sorry" while wishing that this wouldn't be one of those mornings where he was made to bring it back up and eat it again as a lesson. Thankfully Daniel was feeling a little generous that morning as he said "Good enough I guess. That was your one and only slip up today Andrew. Remember that!" and walking towards the kitchen door, he turned round and said "I'm gonna get ready and go to the store now. This place better be sparkling when I get home, FBI visit or not". Andrew responded with "Yes Mr Bespoke" as he got up and ran the water to wash the mornings dishes.

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><p>AN: So there we have the first part. Please let me know what you all think!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, alerted or added this to their favourites! And those who have read it, thanks to you too! It really means a lot :). Hopefully you'll all enjoy this chapter too!

Disclaimers: I didn't find Sam or Dean in my garden this morning, nor was Supernatural my idea. Original idea for the story goes to Beckalooby, just playing around with characters owned by the CW and a plot by another person :) I'll put them back nicely when I'm done.

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><p><strong>PART 2<strong>

Dean woke up at 7.30am the next morning, having been awake until 4am running on sheer adrenaline, researching every source he could think of for information on Daniel and Marsha Bespoke, while finding very few mentions of 'Andrew'. He moved over to the table in his motel room, to open the laptop to look over the information he had compiled again, never being more thankful than now that he had started and stuck to his fathers tradition of choosing the second motel on the road into a town, never the first, not after... '_Sam_'. The extra space in the room had proven invaluable as it had allowed him to lay out the substantial amount of notes and articles he managed to make in such a short time, instead of piling them all on top of each other. As he sat down and looked up one of the two articles mentioning 'Andrew', there were too many thoughts going through his mind to keep track of and to focus on a single one '_how did this...when should I...how can I find out...need to talk to the kid, how, dad, why did you...how could we not have...'_. He slammed his hand down on the table shouting "Goddammit", and shook his head as if to clear the thoughts and picked up the phone to call Bobby again, as if the first five calls for advice and help through the night hadn't been enough.

As he picked up the phone, Dean thought back to his first phone call to Bobby, telling him about his encounter with a person he thought was Sam _'Bobby, you'll, I, Jesus, Sam, he, I...'_. Bobby had interrupted _'Dean take a breath and start again'. _Dean took the suggested breath and started again, telling Bobby about the case he'd sent him here to look into and about seeing 'Andrew' who had a burn scar in the very same place that Sam had one. He also told Bobby of the terrified look in the kids eyes when he had walked in to see Dean and Daniel talking, and the haunted, submissive look and posture that the boy had. Bobby had suggested that they both research this family, that they try to trace them back over the last 14 years for any mentions of a boy living with them.

What they had both found out by working together, though so far apart, was that Marsha Bespoke was a very different character to the great, kind person who everybody had loved image that her husband had painted for 'Agent Brain Rudd'. She'd been arrested for a few different offenses at least 10 times in the last 12 years, most arrests were for possession of illegal drugs and she had once served time in prison for possession with intent to supply. She had been released early for two reasons, one was for good behaviour and the second reason was on compassionate grounds as her adopted son Andrew was very ill in hospital after falling down the stairs at the family home. It was noted in that article that her son had pulled through and was now making a full recovery. Another article read that she had been arrested for attempted murder of a drug dealer, but was later released without charge as no evidence could be found linking her to the scene of the crime. Something about the details of that case jogged Deans memory about another article he had read while researching the hunt he'd originally come here to do. Both we drug dealers, both were found beaten within an inch of their lives, both had also been shot. The only difference was the most recent poor guy hadn't pulled through and had died at the scene.

Dean hit number 1 on speed dial and held the phone to his ear as he waited for Bobby to pick up. When he heard the ringing stop he said "Hey Bobby, you find anything else?"

"Nah nothin' else so far Dean what you your end?" Bobby replied. Dean told him about what the connect he found between the attempted murder in the article that Bobby had found and the murder case Dean had found. "Yeah... they do seem pretty similar. How you gonna handle this Dean? The more we dig up the more I think we should tread carefully here, don't wanna spook this Bespoke guy incase it really is Sam, and you can't just run in there guns blazing saying you're taking your brother back incase it isn't him."

"But Bobby I..."

"No, I know Dean, and I'm excited too that you may have found your brother after all this time. All I'm sayin' is you gotta tread carefully here son. You gotta be sure it is really him before you do anything"

Dean hung up the phone after having been on the phone for close to an hour with Bobby, he'd told Bobby for the twelfth time that no he didn't need him come down to help, he would do this on his own, no, he had to do this on his own. He had to make up for almost giving up on his little brother, almost being persuaded by his fathers dying words '_son it killed me every time I hit a dead lead, don't let it do that to you too...' . _He had agreed with Bobby that he'd use the time when Bespoke would be grocery shopping '_grocery shopping my ass', _he would go and talk to 'Andrew'/Sam and try to gather as much information as he could, but not to spook the kid. Bobby warned him to be prepared for the fact that this kid might not know him, or recognize him, going from what he'd heard the kid was spooked. Both had highly doubted that the kid had a personality disorder, especially from what they had dug up on the Bespokes.

At 9am Dean decided to go take a shower and try to wash out some of the tension, a useless task, but he had to be doing something to pass the time until he could do to that house and question the guy who may well be his missing for 14 years brother. He stood under the shower letting it rain down on his head, washing away some of the guilt and sorrow he felt, and the tears which he allowed to flow now that he had a spare minute alone with his thoughts since he'd left the Bespoke residence. After the water began to turn cold he turned the shower off, got dressed - no suit this time in case he needed to move quickly, and grabbed the remains of the pizza he'd had delivered to his room, not wanting to take anymore time away from research than was needed. An hour after he'd first stepped into the shower, after he'd eaten what passed as breakfast, he stood up and put his jacket on, making sure to tuck his gun into the back of his trousers and to grab the FBI badge before he grabbed the Impala keys and almost jumped into the car for the second time in 24 hours...

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><p>As Andrew stood at the kitchen sink he put his hands into the water, wincing a little as his hands entered the too hot water, he always made it that little bit too warm and his hands always came out a nice shade of pink which took a while to return to match the pale shade of the rest of his skin. This morning it hurt worse than others as the little cuts on his knuckles made contact with the water. He washed the dishes as he heard Daniel thudding around from room to room upstairs getting his things together and going into the bathroom for a wash. After the dishes were done he cleaned all the kitchen surfaces, trying his best to avoid that one spot of floor between the sink and the table, which also needed to be cleaned. He didn't think he'd be able to step on that spot again without vomiting after what had happened there when six months ago. Back when Daniel had found a way to blame him for what happened to Marsha and made him clean up the remains and blood that the coroners had left after removing her body. Even thinking of it made him feel like vomiting.<p>

"It ain' gonna clean itself you know" Daniels voice ringing out from behind him made Andrew flinch and turn around to face him, while thinking '_how long have I been standing here?'. _Daniel had the always unreadable look on his face, that look which could either mean to get on with it, or you're gonna pay dearly for that.

"Sorry, I um...was thinking on where to start cleaning first today" Andrew said, and Daniel replied with a "hmph" turning around and going into the living room again. Not really knowing what that meant, but not wanting to wait around to find out, Andrew busied himself with cleaning up the rest of the kitchen, drying and putting away the dishes. Walking into the living room, having also put a fresh washing on to clean his bloodstained sheets, Andrew almost walked into Daniel.

"Jesus! Why don't you ever look where you're walking shit for brains! That's always been your problem hasn't it? Too goddamn clumsy and stupid for your own good!" Daniel said, not stepping back and holding Andrew by the upper arms to ensure he couldn't move back from him either.

Biting back a '_well maybe if I knew you were there' _Andrew instead said "S-sorry Mr Bespoke. I didn't know you'd be walking into the kitchen or I would have stepped out your way Sir'. Daniels eyes narrowed and Andrew immediately thought '_why the hell did you have to think that, you know you were in the wrong idiot! '. _Andrew got down onto his knees and apologised once again, this time with a begging tone so as not to be beaten again so soon.

Daniel grunted before saying "Yeah I should think so too. You can stay like that till I've left. Now do you remember what I told you a breakfast?" Andrew nooded. "Good. Lets see if you can actually do something I've asked you without screwing up". Daniel then moved to grab his coat from behind the door, threw one last threatening look in Andrews direction and slammed the door closed as he left, making Andrew flinch for the second time in 5 minutes.

After he was sure Daniel wasn't coming back in to check if he was still in the same position, Andrew got up and busied himself with tidying up Daniels bedroom, changing the sheets from the fresh ones he'd put on yesterday. He didn't bother to clean or tidy his own room as all that was there was his own meagre clothes which were already folded neatly into two little piles, his toothbrush and comb, and his sheets which were currently in the washing machine in the kitchen. Once he'd finished in Daniels room he went into the bathroom and took off his too baggy T-shirt to finally examine the damage Daniel had done to him last night. The ribs were definitely bruised judging by the tenderness, and the bruising on the skin there too, yup, a few cuts and more bruises, black eye and burst lip. He didn't bother pulling down his trousers as he wasn't sore there...and he suppressed another shudder at the though of it. Although he knew he deserved it, and more, it still didn't stop the fear and shudders. He pulled his T-shirt back on and ran down the stairs when he heard a car pulling up outside. Looking through the net curtain beside the front door he could see Agent Rudd getting out of his car '_I knew he'd come today. Is this some kind of test again?' Don't let him in, you're not in' _he thought as the agent walked up to the door and lifted his fist to knock on the door.

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><p>Dean walked up to the door, heart thrumming so hard in his chest he wouldn't have been surprised if it was visible on the outside. Pausing to gain control of himself for what felt like the hundredth time since he got into the car at the motel, he then lifted his fist up to knock the door. Giving adequate time for a response to his knock, he knocked a little harder this time, noticing some kind of movement from behind the curtain. He took out his badge and held it up to the window saying "FBI, Agent Rudd. I was here yesterday? I just have a few questions".<p>

Andrew shuffled nervously, wondering if he should let the FBI agent in.

"Look I know you're in there, I just have a few questions to ask you and then I'll be on my way I promise. No-one needs to know I was even here". Dean said, hoping to any and every higher power out there that the kid would open the door and let him in. When he heard the door unlock his knees almost gave out at the sight that greeted him.

'_What harm can it do, he's with the FBI, and he only wants to know about what happened' _Andrew reasoned and he reached out and unlocked the door. Pulling the door open he tried his best to look normal, and aimed for a smile, which to Dean looked more like a grimace. "C-come i-in" he said as he stepped aside and made way for the Agent.

Once inside the house Andrew gestured to the couches "Would, ah, you like a seat?" he said, trying to keep cool and make it look like he spoke to regular people all the time, that this wasn't the third time in 14 years that he'd actually spoken to someone who wasn't Daniel or Marsha Bespoke.

Looking at all that was 'Andrew' standing before him, Dean couldn't help but stare with a slightly open mouth, he took in his fathers eyes as the looked back at him and his own mouth and chin as they moved to speak.

"Uh, Sir?" Andrew said, getting more nervous by the mili-second. This was definitely a test, it had to be. There was no other reason for this Agent to want to question someone like him. What use would his information be? And why was he staring at him? '_Oh, right, the bruising'_ he thought, answering his own question.

"Oh, um, no, no thanks" Dean said sticking to short words, not really trusting himself to be bale to say anything more right now. Focusing on the black eye and burst lip which hadn't been there when he saw him yesterday.

"So what can I do to help you Sir?" 'Andrew' asked him and Dean managed to find the words and push them out of his mouth, past the bile rising in his throat the suspicions running through his mind, "Yeah I just have a few things I'd like to ask you if that's OK?" 'Andrew' nodded. "Actually, maybe it'd be better if we take a seat for this one". Dean said, moving towards the couch he'd sat on yesterday. Noticing that the kid hadn't moved to sit down Dean asked "Well are you gonna sit down then?" and at he sat down on the edge of couch opposite Dean.

Dean decided that he would need to take Bobbys caution about treading carefully to the extreme in this case, something was definitely off about this whole thing, he was even more sure of that now he'd seen the injuries on his Sam. "What happened to your face? Those look pretty nasty?"

'_Shit'_ Andrew thought, while coming up with an excuse in his head "oh, I, um... I fell down the stairs last night. They always said I was clumsy" he answered with another attempt at a smile, which didn't come off as anything close. '_pfft. Stairs. Yeah sure'_ thought Dean.

Dean very gently prodded the kid through the next half hour in the right direction, asking him how long he'd lived with the Bespokes, did he know his real family, had he met them,

his version of what happened to Marsha, how school was with him after what happened to his adopted mother?

Andrew did his best to answer the Agents questions fully, but without giving too much away. He'd been made to rehearse this practice until he had it down to a fine art by both Marsha and Daniel in case the authorities came to investigate. He told the Agent he'd been living with the Bespokes for around 14 years, he didn't know anything about his real family, that he'd been in an accident which is where the scars on his arm came from so his memory had been damaged, the foster services gave him to Daniel and Marsha. He told the Agent how he'd come into the kitchen to find Marshas bloody remains on the kitchen floor, and that he was home schooled so the situation with school wasn't a problem.

Dean was reeling from the information. He looked the kid straight in the eyes and said "Does the name Sam mean anything to you?" The boys eyes went wide and he stood up, backing away from Dean. Dean stood up moving closer to him, holding his hands out in a peaceful gesture while saying "Hey, hey, it's OK, we'll figure this out" and knowing that he had all the information he needed he said "I need you to come with me right now though".

Before either of them had a chance to respond the door flew open, hitting off the wall behind it as a voice boomed through the room "What in the hell are you doing here?". Both Dean and 'Andrew'/Sam turned and looked, Daniel had returned home earlier than either of them had imagined...

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><p>AN: So there is the second part. I really hope this lives up to your expectations! Please let me have any feedback you have, good, bad, terrible or indifferent. I'd love to hear from you!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N 1 - Thanks again to all who have read/reviewed/messaged me about this! It means a lot!

A/N 2 - This chapter might look a little jumpy with lots of **** lines, but I really wanted to explore some Sam POVs in this chapter, as this is a hurt!Sam fic after all! So that seemed like the only way to separate the POVs. Any section not titled _Sam_ is just telling you what is happening at the time & is not Sams POV. I know I'm probably talking to you guys like you're idiots but I felt the need to explain anyways :/

DISCLAIMERS: Again, I don't own Supernatural, nor will I ever stand the chance of doing do. Playing with characters owned by someone else and plot given to me by someone else.

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><p><strong>PART THREE<strong>

_Before either of them had a chance to respond the door flew open, hitting off the wall behind it as a voice boomed through the room "What in the hell are you doing here?". Both Dean and 'Andrew'/Sam turned and looked, Daniel had returned home earlier than either of them had imagined..._

Daniel stood in the doorway blocking it completely with hands on both sides of the door frame "I think you'll find I asked a question?" he said looking at Dean, but it was Sam who started talking, although his head was saying '_ohgodohgodohgod' _his mouth said "S-s-i-ir, he, u-um, he w-wanted to..."

"Shurrup Andrew I never asked you! I'll deal with you later on son." Daniel interrupted, speaking through gritted teeth that seemed to add a menacing hiss to his words, then he pointed at Dean and said "But right now I'm talking this guy". Before Dean had a chance to say anything, Daniel ran across to him, gabbed him by the jacket and threw him into the wall.

Slumping down the wall as he tried to clear the gathering fog from his head, Dean saw Daniel turn and lean over Sam, who had now shrunk down trembling into the corner that he had backed himself into in his attempts to get away from Dean earlier. Although he couldn't see Daniels face, he didn't need to to know what expression it had when he whisperingly hissed "You think you've had it bad before? Huh? Pfft! That's nothing compared to what you've got coming for letting him in when I told you not to! Do you even realise what could have happened? I'm gonna make you wish you'd never been fucking born!"

Halfway through Daniels threat Dean sprung up drawing his gun as he stood, and as he aimed it at Daniel he said "OK, enough! Here's whats gonna happen if you want to avoid a bullet in your skull..."

Daniel cut him off by laughing, and in one fluid movement while dragging Sam up by the hair with his left hand, pulling a knife from his pocket with his right hand and moving it to point at Sams throat, he said "Oh yeah? I don't think so_ Agent" _as he then moved Sam in front of him to essentially use him as a shield. The look in Sams eyes as Daniel stood behind him made Deans blood boil, and although he only caught a fleeting glimpse of that look, Dean knew it'd etched in his brain for at least the next 40 years. It was that look of someone about to have something terrible done to them without any way to stop it, a panicky but resigned look, which told Dean that this wasn't the first time Daniel had stood behind Sam and... _'oh God'. _Daniel stopped the train of thought running through Deans head by saying "Now why don't you leave us before he gets it?" Sam seemed to zone out somewhere around that point.

"Sounds to me like he's gonna 'get it' whether I stay or not" Dean said, trying with everything he had to force the blinding rage back a bit for now, he needed to be in control more than ever right now. "And for your information _Daniel_, I'm not leaving without Sam".

"His name is Andrew asshole!"

Keeping his gun trained firmly on the space between Daniels eyebrows Dean said "Yeah well I say it's Sam. Now why don't you drop the knife and we can all walk away from this?" as he thought '_only two of us will be walking away from this'._ Daniel shook his head with with a sneering grin. Dean said "What, this how you get off? Beating up kids, and probably a whole lot worse, until they're too terrified to leave you? I'll only ask once again. Drop. The. Knife"

"Nu-uh. It's not my fault he's damn clumsy for his own good. What a fuck-up. My wife an' me have been nothing but good to him. Yeah, we've punished him, but it was only for his own good... When he did something wrong. How dare you barge in here, pulling your gun on me and threatening to take away my son! I'll only ask you once more. Leave. Now" and on the last word Daniel dug the knife tip in a little to Sams throat, just deep enough to draw a little bit of blood. "Or this goes all the way in". Sam seemed to jerk, and on coming back to himself he started to struggle in Daniels hold again.

"No. Not. Without. Sam." Dean ground out flexing his finger on the trigger of the gun.

* * *

><p><em>Sam: <em>

The last words Sam heard from beside his ear were "don't think so Agent_"_ feeling Daniels hot Whiskey laced breath pass over his ear as they were spoken.

For his part, Sam couldn't focus on anything other than the fact that Daniel was standing behind him, with his groin there - right behind him, right where it usually started to... '_God please no. Not again. Not with this guy too...'. _And maybe that's what this was, the test was to see if he would have disappointed Daniel, and he'd really done it hands down this time by letting the guy in '_... brought it on myself..._'.

Who was this guy anyway? How did he know about the dreams where he wasn't Andrew, but was called Sam. It felt so right in the dream, but he knew it couldn't be more than a dream, it wasn't what he deserved, it wasn't his rightful place in the world.

"...leaving without Sam..." filtered into the haze, spoken by the other guy.

'_So that's it, they know about my dreams. He's here to punish me for dreaming about having a family'. _But he could have sworn no-one knew about them... he never saw anyone except from Marsha and Daniel and the few clients they brought to the house. They must have overheard him dreaming. '_Always being monitored...'_

A sharp pain jolted him out of his thoughts and he became aware of being held by Daniel from behind again he started struggling '_can't do this. one is bad enough, but two... No. can't. Can't do it. God, why would he even bring someone else after all this time...?'._

The next words that drifted through Sams proved to be the breaking point for him "Not. Without. Sam"...

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><p>What happened next not only took them all by surprise, but it also provided the much needed break in the stalemate and tension that had been steadily developing between Dean and Daniel, as Sam stood tall and shouted at the top of his voice "Stop calling me that!". Daniel was caught by surprise at the outburst and in jumping a little he loosened his grip on Sam. Sam ducked out of the hold as Deans hunter instincts saw the opportunity and fired his gun, hitting Daniel in the chest. Daniel then collapsed to the floor. Sam was so shocked by his own outburst and by the shot which seemed to be in response to it, that he turned and fled up the stairs, taking them two at a time. He ran into his room, opened the closet door '<em>that closet<em>' and shut the door behind him. It probably wasn't the best hiding place, since he had flashbacks of those nights he'd been made to spend in there by just looking at the closet door from the outside.

"Sam, wait!" Dean called, and giving Daniel a quick visual once over to make sure he wasn't going anywhere soon, he ran up the stairs after Sam. He sighed and ran his hands through his hair, "I'm not going to hurt you, please... I just want to help you". he said as he stood in the hallway trying to work out where Sam had gone. He opened the door to the room to his left, which was nicely decorated and had a kingsize bed, glancing into the room, he thought '_bastard!' _and closed the door. He tried the door directly in front of him, which turned out to be the bathroom. Trying the only other door left to open, the one to the right, he braced himself and opened the door and when he did he instantly knew that the sight which greeted him completely knocked the bottom out of the expectations he'd had. As he glanced round he took in the threadbare carpet, fading and ripped wallpaper, cuffs on the radiator and the burst lightbulb which was hanging from the ceiling. The other thing that didn't escape him was the pools and drops of blood staining the carpet and more in one corner of the room, which he knew without a doubt that was the area of the room where Sam slept. He asked, trying to keep the anger out of his voice, "Sam are you in here?", but there was no answer. He tried "Andrew? Are you in here?", but again there was no answer. Seeing no other place that Sam could have gone, Dean walked over to the closet & pulled open the door, revealing a cowering and trembling Sam.

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><p><em>Sam:<em>

"Stop calling me that!" and he felt the grip on his neck loosen just enough, and although he knew he would pay dearly for it later on after the guy had gone, he ducked out of the grip Daniel had on him. The next thing he heard was a shot '_knew I shouldn't have shouted out or ducked'_, so he turned and ran up the stairs, his long legs making it easy to take them two at a time.

"Sam wait" the guy called '_no_' was Sams response, but only inside his own head - he knew better than to answer back.

'_Not enough time to get into the attic_', he opened his room door and ran in, knowing that the other place up here that he could hide was the closet. Closing his eyes against the flashback of the last week he'd spent in there '_no, no time for that'_, he opened the door and ignoring the shackles that still hung from the ceiling of the closet, he closed the door behind him & slid down the wall.

Through the solid closet door he heard the muffled sound of his room door opening and the guys voice said "Sam are you in here?". Sam then started mantra in his head '_Keep quiet, keep quiet, keep quiet and he'll go away, better the devil you know than the devil you don't know'. _

"Andrew? Are you in here?" '_Better the devil you know than the devil you don't, don't move, don't make a sound and he'll leave'._

Then came the footsteps, and the closet door was pulled open. Usually he felt a sense of overwhelming relief and was ready to do anything he was ordered to, lapping up the cool air that streamed in when that happened, but not this time. '_Keep looking down, don't look at him_'. He couldn't stop himself from shaking, displaying his fear of this man.

* * *

><p>"Pl-l-ease, I d-don't know what y-you want, I'm sorry sir" Sam said and unknowingly broke Deans heart in the process. Dean looked at Sam and almost crumpled from the sharp punch to the gut from the guilt and sorrow he felt closing in.<p>

Kneeling down so that he was level with Sam and not towering over him, he said "Can you look at me?". Sam lifted his head, and Dean wasn't sure if it was because he wanted to, or an automatic reaction. "OK, I'm gonna call the police and..."

"No! N-no police, p-please" Sam interrupted, straightening up from the slumped posture he had, then looking back down he said 'S-s-orry, do what you want to Sir".

"Can you look at me please?" Sam looked up again and Dean maintained eye contact and continued "Look, buddy, if you don't want me to call the police then I won't, but if that's gonna be the way we do this then we have to leave, like yesterday". Dean had suppress a chuckle at Sams bemused look when he said that. "What I mean is that I shot him, the neighbours will have heard the gunshots, which means if they haven't already called the police then they'll be calling them right now." Pausing let Sam digest this, and taking care not to use either 'Sam' or "Andrew', while thinking of a way to make what he was about to say not sound like an order, Dean then said "I'd like you to come with me. I can get you cleaned up and look after you."

"C-can I a-a-sk a qu-qu-question please?" Sam asked, and Dean noted that he tripped over these words more than any of the others he'd said to him. It made Deans brow furrow in concern, and noticing Sams expression he made his face a blank canvas again before nodding. "Why?".

"Why what Sam?" Dean inwardly cursed himself for calling his brother by his own name, but the kid seemed so wrapped up in his train of thought he didn't notice.

"Why do you call me Sam? How can you know that? And why do you want me to come with you?"

"It's a long story, but you're my brother Sam. We've been looking for you for fourteen years now. And when I came here to investigate what happened to Marsha, I saw you and I noticed the burn scar on your arm and I knew it was you" hearing the tears creeping into his own voice he continued "I just, I couldn't believe it, after all this time". Quickly coming back to the reality of the situation he said "We have to leave Sam, we can't stay here. We can discuss this back at my motel room and I promise I'll fill you in".

"So you're really an FBI agent?" Sam asked

"No I'm not an FBI agent, that was a cover story so that I could find out what happened. My real name is Dean Winchester, and your real name isn't Andrew, it's Samuel Winchester" Dean said. Seeing that Sam had more to ask, Dean said "You can speak Sam, I won't hurt you, I never would. I'll answer any questions you have"

"If you lied about being an FBI agent, ho-how do I know I you're telling the truth? I don't have any family. They all died and then I came here and got what I deserved for killing them"

"Sam no, God no. You, no-one deserves to live like this. I have photos of you, me and dad, and I have photos of you after you hurt your arm. The scars are the same Sammy" Sam still looked like he had doubts, which Dean didn't blame him for at all. Deciding that they needed to leave quickly, Dean tried a change of tactic "Look, at the end of the day, you can stay here and let the cops find you and live the rest of your life being afraid, or you can come with me and have better life than you've had here. That much I can promise you". Then he stood up and offered his hand out to Sam.

'_I don't know this guy, I don't trust him, but I don't want to live like this forever' _Sam thought. He nodded and deciding that he didn't want to let the guy touch him yet, but that he probably couldn't get up under his own steam, Sam took the offered hand. They started walking towards the bedroom door as Dean said "OK c'mon buddy, let's get you out of here", when a swaying figure holding a rifle gun walked into the doorway.

"Daniel" Dean said, taking in the sight of the man. If he weren't such a pathetic asshole Dean would have admired his sheer willpower and determinism in making up the stairs with the blood streaming from the wound in his chest.

"He" Daniel said as he aimed the rifle at Sam "ain't goin anywhere outside..." pausing to take a breath and swallow he continued "...this house". Daniel seemed to sway a bit and the gun lowered before he came back to himself again and lifted the gun, taking aim once again.

As Sam grabbed Deans arm out of fear, Dean couldn't help but feel a swell of pride in his chest at the trust Sam showed through that one little act. "Yeah he is, he's leaving here with me, with his brother, and there's not a goddamn thing you can do to stop us".

"Think you'll find I'm the one with the gun this time pal" Daniel said with a sneer.

Seeing him start to sway again, Dean squeezed Sams hand, shook himself loose of the grasp Sam had on his arm, and pounced. He pushed Daniel backwards and made him loose his footing as he stumbled backwards in the hallway. '_The stairs'_ ran through his mind, and before the thought had halfway finished, Dean gave Daniel a little grin that said 'this is it' and was reaching out with his right fist, catching Daniel on the left side of his cheek. Dean felt the crunch of bone under his fist as Daniel swayed to the side from the impact, and his already lost footing completely gave way as he leaned further to his right, and his foot missed the floor and fell, followed by Daniels body as it thudded down the stairs, hitting of the walls as he fell.

Dean felt someone behind him and turned round to see Sam standing with tears in his eyes. Sam reached out to wipe a stray tear away but Sam flinched. So he lowered his hand and held it out for Sam to hold onto his arm for support and said "OK, lets go Sammy". Sam took the offer of support, and they made their way down the stairs, past Daniels crumpled body lying at the foot of the stairs, limbs folded in ways that they should never be moved. Dean noticed the very slight rise and fall of his chest, and knowing that Daniel would never be coming after them in that state, and that something else would get him before he even made it to the door, Dean grinned again before opening the door, looking at Sam and saying "you're safe now Sam, let's go", and together they made their way to the Impala.

_TBC..._

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><p>AN: This was originally intended to be a short chapter... but ... well you see you how that worked out! As always, please let me know your thoughts, I'm open to Excellent/Terrible and anything in between :)


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N** - Thanks so much to everyone who has read this, and an extra thanks goes to those who have reviewed and alerted and added this story to your favourites! It's really great to know that you are all enjoying this!

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><p><strong><span>PART FOUR<span>**

The ride back to the motel had been a a quiet and tense affair for both Dean and Sam, which had started off with Sam looking at the car like it would eat him before they'd gotten into it, and that was only after Dean had to practically push Sam out of the door of the house. Sam sat on the edge of the passenger seat with an upright defensive posture like he was expecting an attack at any moment, looking at everything they passed with wide terrified eyes. The town passed by in a blur for both brothers, each wrapped up in their own thoughts and worries. Dean wanted to do nothing more than reach out and pull his brother into a hug and never let him go again, while Sam wasn't sure what was expected of him at all, or what this guy wanted from him, '_he's taken me from Daniel... what the hell? What should I do? What does he want?'_. Although he hated his life with the Bespokes, he knew what they wanted from him and when in the day they wanted it, and right now he wanted to be back there '_maybe I fucked up too many times & I'm being sent to live with this guy'. _

A voice cut into Sams reverie as Dean said "OK we're here". Sam physically jumped, having been so lost in his thoughts and took in the two story building in front of them, and as impossible as it may have seemed, his eyes got even wider. He saw a young couple play fighting and tickling each other as they left their room and he tensed, flinching and moving back into the seat for the first time of the 10 minute journey. Dean saw what had made his brother so tense and said "It's alright Sam, they're just playing. How you holding up?"

Sam furrowed his brow as he looked at Dean "I...um...I don't..." he trailed off as he looked back at the motel.

"My room is around the back anyway, and there's a door from the parking lot so we don't have to go into the building, so you should be ok" Dean said, trying to reassure himself as much as his brother. They pulled up into the space right in front of Deans room & he sent a silent '_thank you God'_ up to whoever was listening. "Ok lets go" he said opening his door as Sam fumbled with the door handle finally managing to get it open. He got out of the car, looking around the parking lot for any danger or threat thinking '_he's gonna show up any minute'_, then he realised he was actually outside, and as much as he didn't trust Dean he hurriedly followed him into the motel room.

Dean quickly gathered all of the research he had done and put it in his duffle, not wanting to freak Sam out by letting him see what he actually did for a living yet. "Hey, do you want a drink of water or anything?" he asked Sam and Sam just looked at him with an expression of incredulity. "You can have a drink Sam, I've told you I'm not gonna hurt you, I only want to help you".

"Uh... yes please?" Sam answered, making it sound more like a question with an underlying tone of _you're offering me a drink, this can't be right._

"OK, why don't you just grab a seat?" Dean said as he moved to get Sam a bottle of water. Sam wasn't sure where he was meant to sit, as there were the two seats at the table and two beds. Turning round to see him looking at all the options, Dean answered the silent question "grab a seat at the table", trying to make his tone as friendly as possible. Handing Sam the water, Dean sat down across the table from him. '_Better to do this now than later'_ he decided, "Look, I know you don't believe me, and man, I really can't blame you for that, but I promise you I'm telling you the truth. I'll show you the photos I told you about". He saw the doubts in Sams eyes, but he also saw the terrified kid who had lived a horrible life and wanted to believe that there was something better out there for him. "You have no idea how many leads we found that were dead. We followed up every single lead we could get our hands on, and although every one of them was a dud, we never gave up hope" '_well I never gave up hope'_. "Sammy, I am so glad I found you man."

"Why do you call me that? My name is Sam you said" Sam said, looking at Dean, then realising he had spoken out of turn he bowed his head an murmured "Sorry".

"Don't worry about it. You can talk whenever you want to. It's what me and dad used to call you when you were little. Ha! You didn't like it then, and you still don't like it now" Dean left to get the photos he still had in his duffle, and sitting back down he put them on the table and took out the photo from his wallet. Sliding that one over to Sam first, he said "This is you, me and dad on a camping trip, dad insisted we take the trip for your birthday" Sam picked it up and looked at the photo, and his eyes widened again '_No, No-way. No. This is the man and boy from my dreams'. _He put the photo down and looked at Dean. Dean continued "See the bandage round your arm? That's from the burn you got on your arm a few weeks before that trip." He slid another photo across to Sam, one of Dean and Sam outside Bobbys house. "This one is both of us, this was taken outside Bobbys house." Seeing Sams expression which read _how should I know who that is_, Dean said "Bobby is our dads friend, he's sort like our uncle". Dean showed Sam more of the photos, which included on of the two of them with John and Mary outside the family home in Kansas, Sam as a baby, and one of Dean and Sam a few weeks after the camping trip, where the bandage was off and you could see the scarring coming out from under the sleeve of Sams t-shirt.

Seeing the utterly confused look on Sams face, Dean said "I know it's a lot to take in Sam, but I hope these prove that I am who I say I am".

Sam looked at him with tears glistening in his eyes, "I...I recognise the two of you in the photos, I've had dreams with those two people in them." Dean raised his eyebrow and Sam continued "I mean, I've had dreams with you two in them, but I always thought it was my mind playing tricks. And in my dreams I was called Sam. Now, I... I don't know".

"So that's why you reacted the way you did when I first mentioned your name?" Same nodded. "That's OK. And I understand that, and I promise we can take things as slowly as you'd like to. But believe me when I say I'm gonna look after you Sam. And I won't let anyone hurt you again."

"I think I believe you, I feel like I know you but I don't know you. I-I want to trust you, but I can't. I think I will one day. And thanks for helping me" Sam garbled out, tripping over his words in his hurry to get them out before he lost the confidence to say them.

Dean felt a rush of happiness and pride swell in his chest at the fact that his brother had just spoke of his own free will, and at what he had said. "That's ok. I'm glad that you kind of believe me. I'm sorry I didn't take you away from there when I first saw you, but I wasn't sure if it was really you. I had to come back and check it out, but I knew I couldn't leave you there when I found out what the Bespokes were like" adding '_and now I want to raise them from the dead so I can torture them till they die for what they done to you' _in his mind.

Sams face clouded over at what Dean said, remembering what Daniel had said to Dean that day '_I hope he really doesn't think I have a personality disorder'_. Before saying "I... um... that's ok, I don't think he'd have let you take me away anyway." Suddenly feeling the need to be out of Deans scrutinizing gaze, he said "D-do you mind if I take a shower?".

"Yeah of course you can, the bathroom's just through there and there's towels and stuff in there". At that Sam got up and walked so quickly towards the bathroom he was practically running, as though Dean might take away this privilege at any second.

* * *

><p><em>Sam<em>

As he closed the bathroom door, Sam sank down the wall behind it '_ohgodohgodohgod, is this true? Am I finally free of them? The photos... they were the guys from my dreams, and that car, I've seen that too.'_

Getting up from his position behind the door he started to run the shower, stripping out of his clothes. Just as he pulled his denims off there was a knock on the bathroom door '_Here we go, knew it was too good to be true'_ and Deans muffled voice carried through the door "Hey Sam, I just realised you don't have a change of clothes. I've left some of mine outside the door for you, they might be a bit short for you but I think they'll be ok till we we buy you some more". Putting his clothes back on, he opened the door muttering a "Thanks" at Dean, grabbed the clothes and closed the door.

Sam looked at the pile of clothes in disbelief '_he wants me to wear his clothes. Me? Why is he doing this? I don't deserve it'. _He put the clothes down beside the door with all the care in the world and then moved back taking his own clothes off again and dumping them in a pile beside the toilet. As he stepped into the shower, he let the warm water cascade over him and let the tears flow, as his brother had done only this morning.

* * *

><p>While Sam was in the shower, Dean took the opportunity to call Bobby and let him know what had happened, and that he'd gotten Sam. The phone only had the chance to ring twice, clearly Bobby had been expecting his call.<p>

"Dean?" Bobby asked, not needing to say anything else as Dean knew what he meant.

"Bobby, it's him alright" pausing to choke down the sob that had been threatening to come out since Sam went into the bathroom. "He... God... Bobby, you wouldn't believe..."

"Ok calm down Dean. What what happened when you got there?"

"I asked him if the name Sam meant anything to him and he completely flipped out. Before I had a chance to explain Bespoke showed up and demanded that I leave..."

"But you didn't?" Bobby concluded

"Damn right I didn't. You should have seen it Bobby. The place was a mess, and he had this look in his eyes. I don't think he was kidnapped to live with them... I...I think they did stuff to him. To my brother... Daniel grabbed him from behind and said I'd have to go through him to take Sam away..." Dean trailed off, remembering the look on Sams face as Daniel had grabbed him.

"Dean? What happened?"

"Yeah, sorry Bobby. I got my gun out and Daniel had a knife at his throat. I shot him in the chest. Then followed Sam upto this room 'cause he ran away. Then Daniel was at the door when I'd convinced Sam to come with me. So I hit him... and he fell down the stairs. Bobby I killed him."

"Jesus Dean! Did what I said this morning not mean anything? You'll have cops on your ass now. What about the body?"

'_Shit!'_ Dean thought. '_The body, spirits, vengance, original hunt... shitshitshitshit'_

"I take your silence as meaning you left it there?"

"Yeah. But Bobby I can't leave Sam here while I go, and I sure as hell can't take him with me!"

"I'll come to you and clean it up. Then you boys are coming back to mine. Sam will need somewhere steady and reliable, both of you will need time to get to know each other again. I ain't taking no for an answer boy." Dean grinned as Bobby tried to cover up his affectionate side by saying "Besides, I want to get a good look at the boy. Not seen him in 14 years. I'm sick of looking at your ugly mug! Let's see... You're in Howard, so it'll be tomorrow morning before I get to you by the time I get sorted."

"Thanks Bobby" Dean said, and as he heard the bathroom door opening he said "I, uh, I gotta go, see you later"

* * *

><p>"Hey Sam, did you have a good shower?" Dean asked, again putting on his friendliest <em>'I don't mean you any harm<em>' voice.

"Yeah thanks. And, uh, thanks for the clothes" Sam said.

"No problem. We'll get you some new ones soon."

Sam sat back down at the seat he'd taken at the table saying "You don't have to, I can go without"

"Sam, no, you need new clothes. Besides it's not a problem, we have money and I want to buy you them".

"Oh... ok. Thanks." Sam answered, unsure of how to respond. He couldn't remember the last time he'd gotten new clothes.

"Oh, yeah. While I remember. Bobbys gonna head up here and he'll be here by morning. He can't wait to see you Sam"

"I don't know him..." Sam said, stopping himself from carrying on with '_I don't know you either'_.

"Yeah I know, but he knows you. You don't have to see him if you don't want to. Its up to you. But he has some business to take care of up this way and he said he'd call in". Deans stomach started to rumble, and realising that it was close to 6pm and he hadn't eaten anything since breakfast he asked "You hungry? I'm staving! How about we order dinner?"

"I, uh, if you're eating then... I... um..." Sam struggled to say what he wanted, which was '_you're asking *me* if I'm hungry and want food?' ._

Dean seemed to pick up on his brothers struggle and said "How about I order pizza and we you can have some?" Sam seemed relieved at this and relaxed slightly.

While dinner was on it's way, Dean turned the TV on and asked Sam what he'd like to watch, and Sam had responded much the same as he had over the dinner question so Dean flicked through the channels while watching his brother out the side of his eyes, until he'd seen Sams face lighten up at one show, a program about monsters none the less, and left it there. A knock at the door announced that the pizza had arrived and sent Sam into the bathroom to hide until Dean announced that it was safe to come out.

Dinner in itself was a whole new experience for Dean, with Sam standing up and not making a move to sit at the table until Dean had convinced him it was ok to do so. Even when seated at the table, he didn't take a slice of the pizza which had Dean wondering '_what the hell did they do to you Sammy?'_. Dean slid the box towards Sam and told him to take a slice, that it was OK to take a slice, which Sam took literally only took and ate one slice. Dean ended up halving the pizza and sliding Sams half over to him saying "Eat that, it's fine. You must be starving!" Sams eyes widened as he looked from the pizza to Dean and back to the pizza.

"Are you sure? This is ok?"

"Of course it is Sam. Why wouldn't it be? Eat up already". Sam smiled for the first time since Dean had found him, and suspected it was even longer than that that his brother had truly smiled.

After dinner Dean asked Sam if there was anything he'd like to do or talk about. "I know you don't feel like you know me yet, but we're brothers Sam, and you can talk to me. I hope you know that"

"Thanks, I know... just... just not yet. Please?"

"Whenever you're ready Sam, is there anything you'd like to watch or do?"

"I'd... uh... I like to look at those photos again. Is that ok?" Sam asked at that one request, Deans heart almost broke on the spot.

"Sure Sam, I'll just grab them again" and he gave them to his brother.

As Sam looked at the photos, Dean told him the stories behind them, and filled in other details such as where they're just come from or where they're gone after it, Bobbys dogs name, how Missouri could be crabby but always there if you needed her, Pastor Jim, Caleb... Sam sat and listened to Deans tales, getting little flashbacks of things but not anything to make sense of, or that he thought was worth troubling Dean with.

Dean then looked at the clock when he seem Sam yawning and noticed it was 11pm. "My God where did the time go? You tired Sam?" he asked and Sam just looked at him unsure of how to answer. "It's OK to be tired Sam, you can take that bed there" he said as he pointed to the bed closest to the door.

Dean waited until Sam crawled into his bed and fell asleep '_poor kid must be exhausted'_, and went to his bed, putting the light off and falling asleep before falling asleep.

Sam had the first peaceful and true sleep that he could remember ever having, until he was woken up by cold finger moving down the side of his face and an all too familiar voice saying "Aaaannndddrrreeewwwww"

_TBC..._

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><p><strong>AN** - So there is this fourth part. Again please do let me know what your thoughts are :)


	5. Chapter 5

A/N 1 - Firstly I apologise for the gap between updates. I've been in Florida on holiday for the last fortnight, but I'm back now!

A/N 2 - This was originally split into 2 parts when I posted them on my LiveJournal page, but looking back over it, I think it goes better as one whole part, and doesn't stretch things out too much... As a result this chapter may look pretty full of dividers, but I hope it makes sense and flows ok!

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><p><strong>PART FIVE<strong>

"Aaaannndddrrreeewwwww" the voice whispered it's cool breath next his ear and Sam tried to focus '_where am I? Motel... Dean...Daniel?'_ and he sat bolt upright so fast he felt dizzy. Although the room was dark, the figure beside his bed looked like it had a light coming from it and shining onto it at the same time. Daniel was also completely see through, but he looked solid at the same time. "Mmyyy boooyyyy" Daniel said, reaching out to run his hands over Sams head.

As the spirit did this, Sam said quietly "Y-y-your n-n-o-not real. You-your dead!"

Daniel grabbed Sams hair, pulling his head backwards so that Sam had no option but to look up into his face. "You'll always be mmmiinnnneee Andrew" stretching out the word 'mine' to place emphasis on it. Sam bit back his sob, but he couldn't stop the whimper that escaped his throat. He looked over at Dean, thinking about calling out for the guy to help. "Oh don't even think about it Andrew... you do that and he'll be dead before you can even blink", and at that Daniels spirit lifted Sam out of the bed with his hand wrapped around Sams throat and threw him against the other wall. Sam landed with quite a hard impact and he could stop the loud "Ah!" that came out as his breath was forced from him in the impact.

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><p><em>Dean -<em>

Dean woke up with a start when he heard the thud, and opened his eyes to hear his brothers "Ah!". He noticed that it was 6am, and as he moved his head up to see what the noise was he saw his brother standing against the wall with a dent around him, trying to back himself into the dent and shaking is head as a figure moved towards him. Pinching his eyes closed and opening them again to focus Dean recognised the figure from the clothes '_Daniel_' he thought, closely followed by '_fucking salt lines! The one time I let my guard down and get too wrapped up in something else'_.

* * *

><p>"Andrew, haven' we been through this?" the spirit said, pausing to laugh before moving closer to Sam, once again wrapping it's cold hands around his throat once again "you never get anywhere when you back into a wall. Now, here's what's gonna happen" as it moved it's face closer to Sams before hissing out "You are gonna stand there an' what me kill that son of a bitch and then I'm gonna kill you. And then we'll be together forever"<p>

Sam jolted as though he had been shocked at hearing those words '_no ... no, he rescued you, he's not like him, he doesn't deserve to die'_, and he said "N-n-no, you-you can't. It's m-me your mad a-at, n-n-not him"

"Oooohhh, finally found our voice again have we Andrew? After we beat it out of you, you never talked back again for 13 years. Couple of hours with him and you're spouting off again." Daniels spirit said as it tightened it's hold on his throat, pushing him tighter up against the wall.

Sam struggled for breath as he forced out "J-j-just l-l-le-ave him, p-pl-ease", knowing that although he didn't know this guy, he had to protect him, he'd taken him away from Daniel, something no-one else had even tried to do. He owed this guy his life, and that meant dying and being haunted by Daniel and possibly Marsha in the spirit world then so be it.

"You see the thing is Andrew, he took you from me, and I can't have anyone takin' my boy away from me. You think that asshole cares about you? He's probably just keeping you around to stop you going to the police an' tellin' them what he did. You're worthless Andrew, an' you're all mine..." Daniels spirit was cut off by a voice from behind.

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><p><em>Dean -<em>

Sliding quietly to the edge of his bed while still lying down, Dean reached down between the bed and the bedside cabinet for the gun he always stashed there for easy reaching. Hating that he had to take his time and let the bastard taunt his brother, hating every word that he heard him say and hating every stuttered word that came out of Sams mouth. He carefully pulled the gun up, keeping a mantra of '_don't scrape, stay in the middle, don't touch the sides'._

He quietly sat upright and moved himself from the bed, hearing the end of Daniels words to Sam "...He's probably just keeping you around to stop you going to the police an' tellin' them what he did. You're worthless Andrew, an' you're all mine..."

Leveling his gun with Daniels form, but knowing he couldn't fire the rock salt until Sam was out the firing line Dean said "I may be an asshole, but I'll never treat *Sam* like you did".

* * *

><p>The spirit turned to look at Dean, and while his attention was diverted away from Sam, Dean called "Sam move!", and luckily Sam did. As the spirit turned back to try to catch Sam, Dean took the opportunity and shot him with rock salt, and the spirit disappeared.<p>

Sam looked at Dean with a look of shocked disbelief "W-wh-what w-as th-th-that?" he asked.

Dean wished he could take the time to sit down and explain what had just happened to Sam right now, but he knew the spirit would be back, and that being the person it had formerly been, it would be ten times more pissed and determined to get what it wanted when it did return. "Sam, I promise I'll explain everything to you. But right now I have to safeguard the room to make sure he doesn't get back in." Sam looked at him with trusting eyes and Dean asked him to sit at the table while he worked. He went to his duffle and retrieved a small bag of rock-salt, and handing it Sam he said "he comes near you again before I'm finished, take a handful of this & throw it at him." Sam nodded and put his hand into the bag, scooping up some of the rock salt, but leaving his hand in the bag at the ready.

Sam watched Dean as he worked, laying lines of salt at the two windows in the room, and along the bottom of the door. Dean then went into the bathroom and gave similar treatment to the bathroom window. '_What the hell?'_ Sam thought to himself as he reflected on what had just happened and what Dean was doing now. Dean came and sat across the table from Sam and had a look for regret on his face, which Sam wrongly misinterpreted '_He wants me to go now after that thing came after me'._

"Sam, I'm so sorry for what just happened" Dean said as he looked up at Sam from where he had been staring at the table. "I was so wrapped in making sure you were OK that I completely forgot. I should have protect you and I didn't"

"It's okay Dean, you saved me from him today, and you protected me when...he...that... whatever it was came after me"

Dean smiled on the inside despite the situation, as this was the first time Sam had used his name when talking to him. On the outside though, he sighed before saying "Yeah, about that Sam, it was his spirit that came after you because I didn't protect the room as I should have done. I'm supposed to be showing you that you can trust me and I can even do something as simple and ingrained in me as that".

"I trust you" Sam said quickly, and Deans mouth opened as if he was about to say something, but Sam held his hand up to stop him and carried on "No, Dean, I have to say this. You've saved me twice today, and while I doubted that you were who you said you were, I don't think anyone would have stood up to something like that unless it was to protect their family. I-I'm not the most balanced person right now, I know that. But I wanted to say that I trust you, and I believe you're my brother."

Dean smiled and nodded, saying "That's great Sam, I'm really pleased you believe me. And I know we have a long way to go before you're totally comfortable with me, but want you to know you can talk to me about anything..."

Sam jumped in quickly, cutting Dean off "I know that, and th-thanks, but just not yet?" Dean nodded and Sam carried on "What happened with that thing? And what's with all the lines?"

"Sam you might not like what you hear..."

"Dean, I want to know. Please. You say I can trust you, and I do. I trust you knew what you were doing when you fired at it, when you gave me that bag of salt and when you lined all the doors and windows. What's going on?"

Dean told Sam how he and dad were hunters, and that they hunted "evil sons of bitches" and he rhymed off some of the things they'd hunted, including spirits, ghosts and poltergeists. He didn't tell Sam about the demon yet, not wanting the kid to think it was all his fault, which he more than likely would. Instead, he told him that something bad had happened to the family when Sam was a baby, and that mom had been killed by it. He explained about lining the openings to the room with rock salt, and how it stops the supernatural from crossing it, and it's effect on spirits if his with it, "He's probably off somewhere licking his wounds as we speak" Dean said, referring to Daniel.

Sam sat and listened to Dean, while thinking most of the time '_this is insane. This cannot be real'. _But when Dean got to the part on spirits and rock salt, he had seen that with his own eyes, he had seen the see through figure, saw it shot with salt and vanish into think air, and true to Deans word, it hadn't come back since. "I, um I-I, this is unbelievable"

Dean had expected as much, and this was why he hadn't wanted to tell Sam anything at all, never mind a severely watered down version of what hunting and being a hunter involved. "Sam I..."

"No, I mean, I believe you. I wouldn't have, but I've seen it with my own eyes. It's just pretty unbelievable."

"Yeah I know, try living your whole life like that and then talk to me about it being unbelievable", and Dean instantly regretted the words that had left his mouth Sams face darkened, eyes getting a faraway look in them. "Oh! Sam, I - I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."

Sam looked at Dean "I know you didn't mean anything, it's just ... it's hard..."

"I can't imagine what you've been through Sam, I really can't ... but I will be here for you whenever you want to talk little brother". Although the words felt weird to say after so long, they also felt so right at the same time.

"I know, and I will, I promise".

"OK, it's 7.30am, Bobby text saying he'd be here around 8, why don't we have some breakfast?" Dean asked, going to make 2 cups of coffee and sticking the left over pizza in the microwave.

"OK Dean, thanks..."

* * *

><p>Dean tried to make things as normal for possible for Sam, bringing him cereal and sitting down across the table from his brother. He tried to ignore the spirit of Daniel which was standing outside the window, glaring and sneering in at them, well more at Sam, and Dean wondered if Sam could feel the sprits glare boring a hole into his back. He even tried to ignore the small gentle breeze which was getting into the room from under the door, disturbing the salt line ever so slightly. He noticed Sams mouth was moving but he was so lost in concentrating on the salt line and Daniel that he'd completely zoned out.<p>

"Dean?"

"Oh, uh, yeah Sam?"

"You okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine, just thinking is all" Dean said as he went back to staring at Daniel through the window.

Sam followed Deans gaze, turning to look behind him and on seeing Daniels spirit through the window 'oh god no' he jumped out of his seat, almost screaming a "What the...". As he jumped, he sent the bowl of cereal flying and landing on the carpet. "I-I'm sorry!" he said, torn between cleaning up the mess he'd made 'you'll be punished for that later', and getting away from the spirit.

Dean stood up saying "Sam, it's okay, calm down. He's out there and he can't hurt you".

"N-n-no I, I knew it w-was too easy. He - he'll never give until he kills me!" Sam said as he backed away from the table, backing into the wall furthest from the door. He had his arms folded across his body, rubbing his upper arms and shaking his head while still trying to back away into the wall. Again, Deans heart almost broke on the spot, 'you gotta be the strong one here Dean' he told himself. Turning round to make sure that Daniel was still outside, Dean wished that looks could kill, as Daniels spirit would have been killed on the spot.

"Sam" he said, as he stood in front of his brother and reached out to him, but Sam flinched away. Sam then slid down the wall pulling his knees up to his chest, still with his arms folded across his chest and rubbing his upper arms.

Dean knew he was losing his brother, and as he bent down to again try and pull his brother into a hug, he heard the room door slamming open and he felt himself being pulled away from his brother as he collided with the wall next to the door, noticing the salt line was fading, and his world went blank.

* * *

><p><em>Sam<em>

Sam realised that he couldn't go any further backwards when he was against the wall 'that never works', and he lifted his head to see Dean standing in front of him. He wished he could concentrate on what the guy was saying, but all he could hear was his own voice running through his mind '_nonononononononono_' mixing with Daniels laugh and the words that Daniel had said to him after his first escape attempt '_We've got you now boy, and I ain't never letting you go_'. He saw a hand reaching out to him and flinched out of instinct and habit.

His knees gave way beneath him, and he felt himself sliding down the wall, and pulled his knees up to his chest, taking on that pose that he had used so often when he was with the Bespokes, trying to make himself as small and un-noticeable as possible. He noticed Dean was down at the same level of him, and between all the voices in his head he managed to think 'he shouldn't be down here' when he noticed Dean moving away from him while still crouched and crashing into the wall beside the door. Sam instantly bowed his head, squeezing his eyes closed trying to block out what was happening.

The he felt that familiar icy touch on his cheek "Aaannnndddreeewwww" the voice said in that leering tone. "That's better ... we've knocked all that answering back out of you already. But you still need to be punished for trying to run away from me again. Now look at me when I'm talking to you boy" Sam lifted his head to look at the spirit and he felt himself sliding back up the wall, caught in Daniels choking grasp around his throat once more. When he was standing on his own two feet, Sams head was slammed against the wall. Sam looked over at Dean as if to beg him to help, and he saw Dean starting to move, his eyes fluttering open. His attention was drawn back to Daniel as the spirits eyes looked at Sam with a hunger in them as it said "hmmm, now this will be interesting. I know how much you remember my being inside you for all the other times..." and with a grown sneering grin on his face the spirit put its mouth next to Sams ears "but I think this will definitely be one you won't forget" Sam tried to struggle but it was in vain as the grip on his throat grew even tighter.

As his vision gave out and he felt himself on the edges of consciousness he head a gunshot, and instantly the iron grip on his throat disappeared as he tumbled to the floor, legs giving way beneath him as his world went blank.

* * *

><p>Dean crawled his way back to consciousness as he distantly heard Sam chocking and gasping for breath. He opened his eyes, only to have them assaulted by the light coming in from the door and the lights in the room. He opened his eyes slightly to see Daniels spirit standing in front of his brother and he heard it say "hmmm, now this will be interesting. I know how much you remember my being inside you for all the other times...". '<em>Oh my god Sam<em>' he thought. Fighting against the dizzyness that threatened to overtake him every time he moved, he knew he had to stop the spirit and save his brother. He finally got himself sitting upright and managed to get the nausea to stop turning the contents of his stomach. As he tried to move into a standing position he noticed a shadow moving towards the doorway, growing closer and the next thing he heard was a gun being fired as the spirit disappeared.

"You okay Dean? Here let me help you up" the shadow said and Dean recognised the voice instantly.

"Bobby! Oh thank god!" Dean said as he held his hand out and Bobby helped him up. Both of them looked over at the opposite wall, where Sam was lying. "Oh Sam..." Dean sighed and looked at Bobby before saying "Maybe we should get him on to one of the beds."

Bobby nodded in agreement saying "Yeah, can't be too comfy down there anyway", while his face read '_Jesus that poor kid_'. Dean and Bobby moved over and lifted Sam from the floor, Dean taking Sams legs and Bobby holding Sam under his arms. After they got him to the bed, Dean gave Sam a once over to make sure there weren't any injuries, well any new injuries. He was happy to note that there weren't any except from a red mark around Sams throat where the spirit had held him, under no doubt that it would form a nasty looking bruise.

"What the hell was that Dean? Didn't you put salt lines down?" Bobby asked.

Dean sat beside Sam, still looking at his brother with his shoulders slumped "I didn't at first. I was so wrapped up in getting him back here and making sure he was OK that I completely forgot. Then I woke up and Sam was against that wall. Daniel was holding him against it." Pointing to the first wall that Sam had been held up against, Dean took a breath and continued "I managed to distract him long enough for Sam to get away and I fired rock salt at him. After I put down the salt lines I told Sam about hunting and what I do." Bobbys face fell and Dean said "Well, I glazed over a few of the details for now..."

Bobby interrupted "OK, we can pick this up later, right now we need to relay the salt line so that bastard can't get in." Dean nodded and got up to help but Bobby put a hand on his shoulder, holding him to where he sat. "Nu-hu boy, you just had your head smacked against a wall and you could barely stand. I'll get it."

As Bobby relayed the lines, Dean moved over to sit at the table in the room, and told Bobby how he'd tried to ignore Daniel standing outside, and at a questioning look from Bobby he said "I didn't think he'd have that much power so quickly. Guess I didn't realise how vengeful he'd be". He then told Bobby what had happened as Sam freaked out at seeing Daniel and how he'd been pulled from his brother "...and the next thing I know I'm waking up, and he's saying all this stuff to Sam and then you came in" Bobby then put up some symbols at either side of the door and at Deans questioning look he simply said "it'll stop that asshole coming in here again" Dean nodded.

After he was done securing the room, Bobby sat at the table and said "OK, well we gotta work out how we're gonna do this. We can't exactly take Sam back to that house, and I don't much fancy leaving you two here..." Bobby trailed off as both his and Deans attention was caught by a shuffling on Sams bed.

Dean moved over to the bed reaching his hand out to touch Sams arm as he said "Hey Sam you back with us?"

Sam opened his eyes to see a figure looming over him and flinched away, wondering if this would ever be over, "No please" he muttered weakly.

"Sam it's just me, it's Dean. You're okay, he's gone." Dean said as Sams eyes adjusted slightly and he saw it was indeed Dean who was leaning over him. Sam nodded that he understood. "You okay Sam? Deans voice was laced with concerned.

"Y-yeah I'm okay Dean. How did... How did you... The last thing I remember you were lying on the floor and then he was shot" Sam asked, not really understanding what had happened.

"Yeah, um... That's what I need to tell you. Bobby was the one who shot him..." Dean stopped as Sams eyes widened before continuing "He saw Daniel and shot him" Dean moved aside slightly, so that Sam could see Bobby. "Sam, this is Bobby" he said pointing to Bobby.

"Hey kid, good to see you awake. Hit your head pretty hard when you fell. Sorry about that" Bobby said, nodding at Sam and knowing to stay where he was and to not get too close to Sam yet.

"Th-th-thank you" Sam said, putting his head down as he spoke.

Bobby looked at Dean for guidance here and Dean nodded at him, silently saying '_just carry on like normal_', so Bobby said "Anytime kid". Dean then moved his head in the direction of the door and Bobby knew what that meant '_give us time please'_. So Bobby said "I'm gonna go get me some breakfast and a coffee, you guys want anything?"

"I'll have some breakfast and a coffee too, thanks" Dean said, and then looking at Sam "Do you want anything Sam?".

Sam looked at Dean. "I, um, I..." he said as his stomach began to rumble, having not eaten the breakfast that Dean had made earlier.

Dean smiled and said "Maybe a roll with some egg? And a bottle of water?" thinking that something light might be the way to go. Sam looked at him and smiled '_thanks_'.

"Okay I'll be back soon then" Bobby said as he headed out of the door, closing it behind him.

* * *

><p>After Bobby closed the door, Dean said "So how are you really?"<p>

Looking at Dean, Sam said "I don't know. It's weird, I mean, I just don't know. I-I'm greatful that your friend saved my life and that he got Daniel away from me, b-but where does it end? You shot him before and he... he came back. What's to stop him again?" Sam said, realising that he hadn't only insulted Dean but also questioned him, he bowed his head and quickly said "Sorry".

"It's alright Sam, I've told you before, you don't need to apologise for talking. And to answer your question, Bobby put up protection symbols at the door so he can't cross that whole line, not through the door and not through the window. He's not going anywhere near you until he's destroyed".

Sam visibly lost some the tension he'd been feeling, which had been reflected in his posture. "It's like what he did before." Sam said out the blue.

Dean looked him, raising an eyebrow, unsure of what to do or say. He wanted to know more of what had happened to Sam at the hands of the '_I-wish-I-could-raise-them-from-the-dead-to-inflict-a-new-level-of-pain-and-kill-them-again_' Bespokes. Sam looked at him with a face that said '_I want to but I don't want to tell you_'. After running through a few options in his head, Dean settled on "You can talk to me about it if you want Sam. Bobby won't be back for a while anyway".

Sam took a deep breath, and looking at the bedcover he continued what he had started to tell Dean. "It's like what he did before. He, I... I tried to escape when I was 10, and again when I was 17. After the first time I swore to myself I wouldn't try again. But I had to... when he started doing it more regular..." He moved one side of his mouth into what should have looked like a sad half smile, but it looked like more a grimace, and he started rubbing the bedcover in between his index finger and his thumb. "The first time, when I was ten, I didn't even get to the corner of the street. He grabbed me from behind with my hair. I just, I'd seen the door open with no-one in front of them and I knew I had to get out. I didn't even know where I was going to go. Anyway, he, um, he caught me and dragged back by my ear..." Sam trailed off, his face deep in concentration.

"It's okay Sammy, you don't have to tell me, you don't have to do this now" Dean said, all the while thinking '_Jesus Christ Sammy...'_

"N-no, it's okay, I-I want to. If I don't tell you now I never will" Sam said, looking up at Dean with tears pooling in his eyes at reliving the memory. He looked back to the bedcover before he carried on. "When we got back to the house Marsha was waiting there. She had her hands on her hips like she always did when she was angry with me. Daniel threw me to the floor and - and I begged them to forgive me, I told them that I was sorry, but they didn't listen. They never did listen when I told them I was sorry. Daniel took off his belt and h-he started hitting me with it. Marsha kept shouting at me, telling me that she was disappointed and that she should send me away to one of their friends. I-I must have passed out, but the next thing I knew I was in the basement and I was all sore. I could hardly move. Daniel came down the stairs and started screaming at me again, telling me that he'd make sure I never tried to run away again. He held me up against the wall choking me till it felt like I was gonna pass out again and he let me go, and I fell. H-h-he turned me over, a-an-and pulled d-down my trousers..." Sam paused to take a deep breath, closing his eyes tight against the memory. "I-I begged him to stop, he told me he was gonna teach me a lesson I'd never forget. I-I don't really remember much of that first time... He, he um, he grabbed me by the arm when he was finished and he marched me up the stairs. I remember Marsha hit me as we walked past her. He took me up to my room and he threw into the closet and closed the door. They must have put bolts on it at some point cause I remember hearing him locking the door..."

Dean was thinking '_That bastard! Sam was always terrified of small spaces..._' and he said "Oh Sam... I..." Dean said, but Sam cut him off.

"...Please Dean, I, I have to..." Dean nodded and Sam continued. "I was terrified. I cried and screamed for them to let me out. I never saw Marsha for a while after that, I don't even know how long I was kept in there, but when I was allowed out the leaves were falling off the trees... He, um, Daniel came in a lot of the time to punish me. He'd drag me out, give me a sandwich and a glass of water, then he'd beat me and, and... he'd turn me over and pull down my trousers and..." Sam closed his eyes again at the assault of the memories. "After he was done he'd put me back into the closet and lock the door again" Sam looked up at Dean and said "every time I run he finds me. H-He found me then and he's found me again".

"Sam, I... I don't even know what to say. I'm sorry that this happened to you, I hate myself for not finding you sooner. But you have to know, he will not touch you this time. He got rid of the salt line, which yeah, I didn't think he could, but I promise you he won't get past those protection symbols Bobby put up" Sam nodded and Dean said "Thanks for telling me that Sam"

"Thanks for letting me..." Sam began to say but was cut off by Bobby coming back through the door with the breakfast, coffees and water.

"Well, are you two just gonna sit there and try to look pretty or you gonna help?" Bobby said as he struggled with the bags.

Winking at Sam, Dean said as he got up "Sure I'll help Bobby, it's not nice to leave old men to carry everything on their own".

"Less of the old boy! Still old enough to beat you any day" Bobby said, and Sam smiled and his shoulders moved as if he almost laughed.

Sam came over of his own free will and joined Dean and Bobby at the table to eat breakfast.

Dean considered this morning to be a small victory.

**TBC...**

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><p>AN - so there we have the first Sam flashback/memory. What did you all think? I may do more depending on how this one was...

As usual I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, whether good, bad or indifferent :)


	6. Chapter 6

A/N 1 - Firstly, I can't apologise enough for the length of time it's taken for me to update this... I was in Orlando for two weeks and then when I got back I've been quite ill and I hit a total writers block. Thankfully my muse came back though and I hope you enjoy this update

A/N 2 - Secondly, I can't even being to express to everyone who has read this, and especially those who have reviewed and encouraged me, my sincere thanks for giving this fic the chance!

A/N 3 - Finally, and I'm not sure if I mentioned this before - this fic is un-beta'd (any volunteers are welcome!) so any mistakes are entirely my own.

Disclaimers: See previous chapters for Disclaimers please...

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><p>Part Seven<p>

After they were finished eating and Bobby was cleaning up, Dean looked at Sam as he quickly bowed his head. It hadn't escaped Dean that Sam had been really quiet while sitting at the table and he wouldn't look up at either Dean or Bobby, he hardly touched his food or drink either. "You ok Sam?" Dean asked, and as Sam quickly nodded his head Dean thought 'yeah that means no then'. Standing up and walking round to where Sam was sitting, Dean crouched down so that he was looking up at Sam and asked again "Are you okay Sam?".

Sam looked at him and then over to where Bobby was, then back to Dean again, and the look of fear in his eyes almost broke Deans heart in two for the thousandth time since getting his brother back, his question did break it though "I-I was... C-can I, um... u-use the b-bathroom?"

'No-one, especially my little brother should be so scared at asking such a simple question' ran through Deans mind as he answered calmly while putting on his best 'I'm not wishing a painful resurrection and a very slow painful death on the people who did this to you' face "Yeah Sam of course you can. You don't need to ask you know, if you want to use the bathroom then you go right on ahead". Sam smiled and whispered something that sounded like a thanks as he quickly got up from the seat and practically ran into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door quickly behind him.

"Woah, he okay?" Bobby asked, turning to Dean as he stood up.

"I dunno, he told me a little bit of what happened to him" Dean said, tearing his gaze away from the bathroom door to look at Bobby. "I don't know if it's reliving the memory of it or telling someone he barely knows about it, or - and don't take offence to this - having you here cause he doesn't really know you".

"Don't be stupid Dean, takes more than that to offend me, you should know that" Bobby said as Dean nodded. Then he continued "So anyway, how are we gonna do this Dean? I need back-up in case things go south, and I don't think it'd be for the best to take Sam back to that house and expose him to how we do things yet. Poor kid can barely talk without panicking".

Dean shrugged and thought about what Bobby had said. After coming up with no solutions he said "I don't know Bobby, I want to make sure that son of a bitch is gone for good, and I sure as hell don't want to get Sam hurt or make him any more afraid of us than he already is".

Bobby nodded, and said "It's a tricky one that's for sure, but there is one thing we could do though. We could talk to Sam about it, give him the choice of what he wants to do". He paused to let the idea sink and when Dean looked like he was about to shoot the idea down in flames Bobby continued "Now listen to what I'm saying here Dean. From what you've told me and from looking at the kid he's spent a good few years with those people, and it's been no bed of roses. Tell him what needs to be done, tell him what could happen when we go to the house, give him the choice of what he wants to do. If he wants to stay here it'll be safe enough with the wards I put up, if he wants to come then we take him and we watch out for him." Dean nodded and looked at the bathroom door as Bobby finished "Could be some kind of closure for him if he comes with us, seeing that Daniel is finally gone and that he definitely ain't coming back"

Dean sighed, looking from the bathroom door to Bobby and said "Yeah ... maybe... I dunno, I guess we could ask him"

"But, there is one thing that we gotta work out whether Sam comes with us or not Dean." At that Dean shot Bobby a 'oh yeah and what's that then?'. "We gotta work out how we're gonna torch Daniels body".

"What do you mean Bobby? We do it like we've always done it!" Dean said, not fully understanding what Bobby meant while trying hard to keep his voice under control for fear of Sam overhearing him.

Bobby took a deep breath and let it out, trying to get rid of his frustration at the whole damn situation "What I meant, Dean, is that we have one very pissed off spirit out there, and I'm guessing he ain't gonna be best pleased if we take his body out of that house, and we can't exactly torch him in the house now can we? All of this is of course depending on whether or not the cops haven't been there already and moved the body"

* * *

><p>Sam<p>

Sam closed the bathroom door behind him, locking it quickly and leaned against the wall, taking slow deep breaths in an attempt to fight off the panic and to slow his heartbeat, Sam sank down the wall to the floor. 'C'mon Sam, pull yourself together. They both want to help you.' Closing his eyes, Sam was taken back to when Marsha had caught him try to eat some cookies when he was seventeen years old.

"You little bastard, what the hell do you think you are doing?" Marsha yelled as she walked into the kitchen and saw Andrew with a cookie in his hand, calling for her husband to come up from the basement. "I, I-I was hungry". Daniels voice filtered up the stairs before he appeared in the doorway "You've been told about this Andrew" and then Daniel was beside him, grabbing his hair at the front of his head and dragging him by the hair through the living room and up the stairs while shouting at him about being a useless stupid asshole who would never learn anything. Then they were in the bathroom and he was struggling with all his might to get away when he felt a blow to his stomach. As he recovered his senses he noticed his head was being held down in the toilet and he heard Daniel yelling again about how he would learn his lesson eventually, and that he'd learn it this way as the toilet was flushed. He thought he was drowning, and the noise was so loud. As it stopped he heard Daniel yelling again and then the toilet was flushed again. He lost count of how many times this happened before he passed out.

Sam shook from the memory as he became aware of what was around him, and that he was in the motel bathroom by himself, not in the bathroom with Daniel.

Standing up, he reached for the lock on the door, turning it quietly and slowly more out of habit than fear of being heard and who might be waiting outside the door for him this time, while reminding himself that he didn't need to do this, he didn't need to behave like this with these guys, they weren't going to hit him for coming out of the bathroom. Opening the door, Sam saw Bobby taking a deep breath before saying "What I meant, Dean, is that we have one very pissed off spirit out there, and I'm guessing he ain't gonna be best pleased if we take his body out of that house, and we can't exactly torch him in the house now can we? Or in the back yard for that matter, what if the neighbours see? All of this is of course depending on whether or not the cops haven't been there already and moved the body"

Knowing full well at that point what Dean and Bobby had been discussing and whose body Bobby was referring to Sam felt both terrified and slightly relieved. 'I have to help them, I know the house inside out, gotta get rid of Daniel'

* * *

><p>The voice that came next startled both Dean and Bobby as they hadn't heard nor seen Sam opening the bathroom door. "N-no, the back y-ya-ard is all fenced in" feeling the attention of the two men suddenly shift from each other to him Sam struggled to keep himself standing there and not to backtrack into the bathroom again. Taking a breath to steady himself, Sam averted his eyes from the gaze of Dean and Bobby and continued "The um, the neighbours are out at work d-during the day, and ... um, the uh, there's no-one across the back from the h-house".<p>

Dean moved over to Sam while saying "Are you okay with this Sam? You know what we were talking about?" and reached out to touch Sams arm.

Sam flinched back slightly and Dean moved his hand down to his side again "S-sorry. I, um... Yeah I know what you were talking about" then Sam added quietly "I heard what your friend said about Daniel"

Dean kept his tone light "That's okay Sam, we weren't talking about it in secret anyway." Looking at Bobby, Dean silently asked 'should we talk about this with him now?'. Bobby nodded and Dean said "Hey Sam, why don't you come over to the table, we got something we wanna talk to you about".

Sams face took on an expression of complete fear and terror and he tried to turn and get away from what he though would be a punishment, Dean grabbed him by the top of his arms, his fingers almost meeting his thumb as his hands wrapped around Sams biceps as he tried to stop his brother hiding himself away in the bathroom "I-I-I...I didn't m-m-mean to overhear... I'm s-s-sorry ... it w-w-on't happen again" he said as he fought to control his panic.

'Way to fucking go Dean you asshole, great choice of words' Dean beat himself up while saying "No, no Sam, no. Listen to me, you're not in trouble, don't worry" Sams twisting and squirming slowed "It's okay Sam, I told you you'll never get in trouble like that here. It's actually something we want to ask you. Come on, grab a seat you look like you're about to drop"

"O-okay" Sam said as a cautiously walked with Dean to sit at the table where Bobby had already taken a seat.

Dean and Bobby looked at each other across the table, each wondering how to broach the subject with Sam. "Sam" both of them said at the same time. Sam looked from one to the other then down to his hands which rested on his knees 'not allowed to put hands on the table' then he looked at Dean as he cleared his throat and gave Bobby an 'I got this' look before starting "Sam, I know you overheard part of what we were talking about, and you have to know you're not in trouble for that, but thats kinda what we want to talk to you about."

"O-okay" Sam said, still alternating between looking down and looking at Dean.

"We have to go back to the house, Bobby and I, because you see I never told you how we get rid of ghosts and angry spirits." Sam looked at Dean as he spoke and nodded. "We need to find the body of the angry spirit and burn it, cause it's usually their body that they link to and that holds them here. And it's the same with Daniel. We have to go back and burn his body cause if we don't someone might find it, and he won't leave you or us alone until we do. And, the thing we wanted to know is if you wanted to come with us or to wait here while we go back and do it"

"I, um, you're giving me the choice?" Sam said, completely taken aback at being given the choice of what he wanted to do.

"Well, yeah Sam, we won't force you to go back if you don't want to, and I'd completely understand if you wanted to stay here and wait." Dean tried to reassure Sam.

"W-w-wait here? By myself?" Sam asked, while thinking 'no, Daniel will come find me, he'll take me back, he'll find a way in. Safer with Dean.' He steeled himself and said "No, I'll - I'll come with you if that's ok?" making his statement sound like a question.

"Yeah Sammy that's fine" Dean could hide the grin of pride on his face at his little brother who had gone through so much preparing to face his demons and the house that had held him prisoner for so long.

After Sam had decided that he would go back to the house with Dean and Bobby they had carved out a plan which all of them hoped would work out as they wanted it to. The first step of the plan was getting out to the car without Daniels spirit getting near Sam, and Bobby had that covered by carrying rocksalt in little pouch to throw at the "son of a bitch" should be appear. Dean walked with his arm linked in Sams, keeping his little brother close, and ready to throw a death glare at anyone or anything that dared to get close to him. Getting out to the car passed with ease, with Daniel nowhere to be seen. Both Bobby and Dean offered up a thanks to whoever had made that happen, and Sam was too busy taking in everything around him in the parking lot with wide eyes that he didn't notice the relief from the others.

* * *

><p>As they rode to Daniels house with Bobby driving as Dean insisted on sitting in the back beside Sam, both Bobby and Sam lost count of the amount of times Dean had said "Tell me if you don't wanna do this Sam" followed by "I'll be watching you all the time Sam" and "You know you can tell me if this all gets too much for you right?" as much to reassure himself as well as Sam.<p>

Sam gave a short laugh at what seemed like the thousandth time Dean said it, and turned from looking out the car window to say "Yeah, I know Dean. I know what I'm doing and I have an idea of what the risks are from what I saw back there". After saying it Sam flashed back to Daniels spirit holding him against the wall, choking him, saying he'd be taking him with him.

"Sam, you okay? Deans voice broke through the flashback.

"Y-yeah I'm fine." Sam said and tried to give a smile that aimed for 'I'm alright, really, I'm fine' but to Dean it looked more like 'I'm telling you I'm fine cause I don't want to make you worry'.

"Ok, but you know you can talk to me about anything you want Sam" Dean said, not wanting to push Sam.

"I know, I w-was, uh... I was thinking about what happened when Daniel found me" Sam said, then remembering what he had told Dean he added "at your room I mean".

"Yeah I get that it could pretty scary if you seen something like that for the first time in a while, but trust he, he won't get anywhere near you Sam. Bobby and I will make sure of it".

"Yeah I know, thanks." Sam replied turning back to look out the window, which Dean took as a sure sign that he didn't want to talk about it right now.

As the brothers had spoken, Bobby had quietly listened in, remembering times when the boys had sat in the back of the car as kids and talked to each other on some of the few occasions he'd joined John on a hunt, or when John had left the boys with him. The memory made him smile, and curse John Winchester for giving up the search for his youngest. At that he made a silent promise to himself that he'd make sure these boys became a family again.

As they pulled up in front of the house, Dean noticed how Sams hand had moved from sitting on the seat beside him to clutch the collar of his hoodie, and he didn't miss the slight tremble that ran through his brother as the car stopped. "Are you ok Sam?"

Sam flinched slightly as Dean spoke, and said "I'm fine" in a monotone voice which told Dean a very different story.

"You know that you don't need to come in? Sam?" Dean tried to get his brothers attention back to him from the obvious horrible thoughts running through his mind. Sam turned to look at Dean on hearing his name, and Dean continued "Do you want to sit in the car while we go in? You know we won't make you do anything you don't want to".

Sam didn't want Dean or Bobby to think that he was weak, but he didn't know if he'd be able to handle going back into the house. He couldn't fight that little voice in the back of his mind that sounded like Daniel telling him that Dean was going to leave him here 'He thinks you're disgusting, he's only had you for one night and he's gonna leave you here. He knows that you liked it, he knows how filthy you are. They hate you. You're mine forever'. Sam tried to shake away the voice and the panic and said "No!". Dean looked at him and Sam wondered if he had heard the voice too.

"No what Sam?" Dean asked, fighting the urge to firebomb the house into oblivion, and all of the memories that Sam had with it. "It's up to you Sam..."

Bobby picked up where Dean left off "...I'm not trying to pressure you guys, but we need to move and we need to move quickly. We cant risk anyone taking notice of us so we need to be in and out as quickly as possible".

"I-I, um, I'll come with you, if-if it's still o-ok?" Sam asked, and it wasn't lost on Dean that his brothers stutter had returned. Dean bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling at the internal battle that Sam must have won and simply smiled and nodded.

The three of them left the car and walked up to the house, Bobby and Dean walking determinedly and trying to keep a low profile while also keeping a close eye on Sam who was walking with his head lowered like a man who was walking to his death. Feeling Deans eyes on him as they got the door Sam looked up, squared his jaw and said "I'm fine". Dean seemed to know better than to question Sams resolve to see this through Dean simply nodded once and reached for the door handle.

Bobby entered the house first, looking around him and letting out a whistle that said 'Jesus look at this place'. Dean motioned to Sam, who seemed to be rooted to the spot, to enter next and said "I'm right here with you Sam". Sam entered next, followed closely by Dean.

Sam stopped dead in his tracks as he walked into the house, eyes widening at the sight of Daniels body lying crumpled, bruised and in a pool of blood at the bottom of stairs. 'You little bastard, I'll make you pay for this.' Sam tried to ignore the voice and to be brave for Dean, but he couldn't switch off from the voice that had held authority over him for thirteen years. The voice and the house brought the memories back 'Get down into the basement... If I ever catch you going near that door again you'll be fucking sorry... Told you you'd like it...' His eyes were still fixed on Daniels form, the image burning itself into his mind. "Sam, you don't need to look at it. He can't hurt you now you know" as Deans voice came through the memories, Sams attention shifted from the body to Dean, and then to the floor.

"OK, so we all know how this goes down then?" Bobby asked as he handed Sam the bag of rocksalt and the gun that he had been carrying while nodding at Dean. Sam nodded, not really trusting himself to speak right now.

Dean said "Yeah we're all clear Bobby. Right Sam?" Again Sam only nodded while still looking at the ground. Dean knew that they couldn't let Sam retreat into himself, he knew that it had been a bad idea to let Sam come back here. "Uh, Sam? Why don't you show Bobby the backyard and I'll deal with in here for now?"

"I-I..." Sam started before looking to the body, still lying there with it's eyes open and staring in Sams direction. Deciding he didn't trust himself to speak without crying he quickly nodded and walked towards the kitchen, with Dean jerking his head at Bobby to follow him.

When they got out to the backyard Bobby saw what Sam had meant when he said it was secluded, "Well this should be perfect for what we need to do kid. I'll just go and help Dean" he said and when he noticed Sam start to walk back in the direction of the house he held up his hands and said "Sam, maybe it'd be best if you waited out here?" and noticing Sam almost fold in on himself at his words, Bobby quickly said "It's just that I think it'd be better for you to wait out here. It's not something you need to see or be a part of before we bring him out". Sam only nodded and continued to look at the ground.

As Bobby left him, Sam looked around the overgrown yard, at the clothes pole which he had been tied to on more than one occasion, and he heard Daniels voice again 'You stupid asshole, you know you can't run away from me. I found you twice already an' I sure as hell ain't letting you go this time'. Sam shook his head trying to shake away the memories, telling himself 'no, it's in your mind. It's not real'. The reply came almost instantly to his attempt at reassuring himself 'Oh but I am real Andrew. More real than you can begin to know'. "No" Sam heard himself quietly mutter.

"Yes" came the reply as the air to the right of him became colder and Daniel began to materialise beside Sam. He felt like he was rooted to the spot as Daniel continued "I told you I wasn't letting you go Andrew and I meant it. You've been away with him not for long and already you're thinking that you can answer me back?" the spirit hissed quietly as it began to circle Sam. He looked to the ground again as Daniel walked around in front of him. "Now here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna go in there and stop them. Do you know what they're gonna do to me? Where they're gonna send me?"

"B-b-u-but I, I..." Sam started as he looked up at Daniels spirit, but was quickly cut off as the spirit moved it's hand to his groin area.

"Do you remember this Andrew? What am I asking, of course you remember it. Do you think you'll get that off of any of those two in there? Do you think they'll want you when they know what you've done? What you enjoy? What you begged me to do?" Daniel smirked as he spoke, taking in the ever increasingly deflated and submissive posture of it's victim, who had moved his hand into his pocket.

Feeling the last of his resolve leaving him as if it was a flame being blown out from a candle, Sam knew he had to do something. He couldn't let Dean and Bobby hear what Daniel was saying if they walked out. He knew that Daniel was right, they wouldn't want him if they know the things he'd done with the Bespokes, if they knew what he was really like. He moved his hands to his pockets, remembering the rocksalt that Bobby had given to him, he managed to grab some in his hand and threw it up at the spirit, hearing it yell as it disappeared.

Just as Daniels spirit disappeared, Dean and Bobby came into the yard from the house carrying Daniels body between them. They put it down on the concrete part of the yard and almost instantly after that Dean was at Sams side. "So he made an appearance then?" Sam only nodded as he was still looking at the ground. "It's almost over Sammy". He moved to touch Sams arm in a reassuring manner but noticed Sam flinch away from the touch.

As Dean was talking to Sam, Bobby was covering the body with gasoline and rocksalt. After he was done he said simply "Ok, we're good to go boys".

Dean nodded at him and said to Sam "You ready for this Sam? You know you don't need to watch this?"

Sam nodded again and then looked up at Dean "N-n-no, I, I w-want to d-do t-this".

"Okay then" Dean said and walked with Sam over to join Bobby. He nodded at Bobby, who returned the nod in response and then he asked Sam "Do you want to do it Sam?" as he held out the lighter to his brother.

It took about a minute for Sam to register exactly what Dean was asking him as he look from Dean, to the lighter, to the body and back to Dean again. "Oh, I... um..." Sam stopped what he was trying to say as he felt the air beside him grow cold again and saw Daniel appear beside him again.

The sprit laughed as it said "He won't do it. He's too weak, he's always been weak. Always needing other people to clean up his messes for him."

"No I'm not" Sam said as he grabbed the lighter from Deans hand, lit it and dropped it onto Daniels body. The spirit screamed as the flames consumed both it's physical tie to the world and it's spirit body, before it vanished for good.

Dean couldn't conceal his grin and Bobby was finding it hard to conceal his too, both feeling a huge swell of pride at Sams act of defiance toward his kidnapper. "It's over Sam, it's finally over. You're free" Dean said.

Sam simply looked at him with sad eyes and said "No, it's not" before turning his head away from the two men.

TBC...

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><p>AN - so there we have it, Daniel is gone! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and that's it made up for the long wait!

PLEASE let me know what you all think, I'd really like to hear your thoughts, good/bad/indifferent...


	7. Chapter 7

A/N 1 - I know that I say this every chapter now and that it might be getting a bit old, but SERIOUSLY a big thank you to everyone has read this fic and especially to those who have reviewed/commented on it, and also for all the positivity!

A/N 2 - Thanks to my new beta wolfish_willow on LJ :)

Disclaimers - I still don't own Supernatural or the characters... I'm only playing about with them for a prompt from Beckalooby - I will try to return them in one piece when I am done.

* * *

><p>Sam's words quickly pummeled through any progress Dean felt that they had made with his brother. "Sam, it's over," he repeated, hoping that his brother would feel some sort of happiness at the fact that his tormentor was gone for good. Sam didn't acknowledge Dean's statement, instead shaking his head and turning round, walking back into the house. Dean turned to look at Bobby, who nodded his head after Sam, in a silent<em> 'go after him<em>'.

As he walked into the house he almost crashed into Sam, who was standing just inside door looking around the room, clutching at the collar of his hoodie.

"Sam?" Dean asked as he moved to stand in front of his brother. After getting no response he tried, "Sam, you ok?"

Sam minutely shook his head, a move that Dean would have missed had he not been staring so intently at his brother. "It's ok Sam, he can't hurt you anymore," he said, moving his hand to touch Sam's shoulder. As soon as Dean's hand was within touching distance Sam jerked away and looked at Dean with tear-filled eyes that said so much more than Sam could ever put into words. "Aw Sam," Dean said as he moved forward again to touch Sam's arm. Sam quickly moved his arm out of Dean's reach and ran up the stairs. Dean followed Sam, having a pretty good idea where Sam was headed and found him sitting in the cupboard in his room with his hands wrapped around his knees which were drawn up to his chest, just as he had the last time he took Sam away from this house.

Crouching down so that he was level with Sam, Dean sighed as he took in the image of his brother, realizing for the first time that this wasn't just as simple as_ 'Daniel is gone so Sam will be alright now'_. "Sam?"

Sam flinched when he heard his name being called, feeling like he was drowning in the memories that the house held. Daring to look up from his knees he saw Dean sitting before him. Wiping the tears from his face with the cuff of his hoodie, he tried to move back a little, only for his back to hit the wall. "I..." Sam started to say, but stopped, not knowing what he wanted to say. He looked back to his knees as he murmured, "Sorry".

Dean started to reach out to touch his brother's chin, to pull Sam's face up to look him, but he stopped himself before Sam could notice the movement. Instead he asked, "Sam, no. God. Sam, can you look at me please?"

Sam slowly lifted his head to look at Dean and Dean immediately met his brother's eyes as he said, "Sammy, don't apologize, you don't need to apologize for anything. I don't know half of what you've gone through, but I promise you I want to help you, I want to... I understand that it must be difficult coming back here after everything that happened, but I am so proud that you did, and you have no idea how happy I am that you took the lighter to Daniel. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but things will get better... You faced your fear and then spat right in his face when you did that."

"I... I don't know how to be not scared. I don't feel any different n-now that Daniel is gone. I just wanted to make him stop," Sam said, trying to explain to Dean how he felt.

Dean sighed again. "I know, and I understand what you're saying, but trust me Sam, you will start to get over what's happened to you..." Sam nodded and Dean continued, "I'm not gonna be annoyed or angry with you if you get scared sometimes, I think it's to be expected given what's happened. But you need to start by trusting me."

"I-I do trust you" Sam said, suddenly worrying that Dean believed that Sam didn't trust him, the first person to show him kindness in as long as he could remember.

"Ok then..." Dean said as he stood up, "...well why don't you get out of there and stand up?" Sam did as Dean asked and Dean looked around the shabby room before asking, "Do you...um... have anything in particular that you wanted to keep or take with you?"

"Uh... no, nothing," Sam answered, wondering if he should take something, but there was really nothing from this house he wanted.

Dean nodded. "Okay, come on then. Let's get Bobby and we'll get out of this place once and for all." Motioning for Sam to follow him, he turned and walked out of the room. Sam followed Dean down the stairs and out to the yard, where Bobby was clearing up the supplies that they had brought with them.

Bobby looked up as Dean walked out of the house, closely followed by Sam, and chuckled saying, "Ya know, although all this time's passed, some things never change." Dean raised an eyebrow in question and Bobby answered, "You two were practically inseparable as kids and as you walked out the door there it reminded me of that." Dean smiled and looked at Sam who looked from Dean to Bobby and back at Dean. Bobby continued, "Anyway, we're almost done here. You two wanna take this stuff out to the car while I finish up here?"

Sam looked at Dean in question and Dean nodded to him. "C'mon Sammy, let's get this stuff out, we can't expect the old guy here to carry it!" he joked as he bent down and picked up the bag of rocksalt and the gas canister, leaving the lighter supplies to Sam.

Bobby played into Dean's game and complained, "Dammit Dean! How many times?" The playful teasing had the desired effect as Sam smiled and smirked slightly at it.

After putting the supplies into the impala, the boys made their way into the house again. Dean was about to walk out the door into the back yard when he felt a light touch to his shoulder. He turned round to see Sam standing behind him looking like he wanted to ask something. "You alright, Sam?"

_'How do I ask this without him getting mad at me?_' Sam thought as he took a deep breath and asked "I, um... I-I was wondering, what happens now?"

"We'll finish up here and go back to the motel and rest. Then we'll head to Bobby's for a while, take it easy for a bit," Dean said, and seeing Sam's worry at what he said he added, "Bobby already told me that we could go there, but we don't have to if you're not comfortable with it."

"No... I... I mean you said I knew him and that he was a family friend. It's nice that he invited you to go," Sam said.

"Us, Sam, he invited us to go stay with him to help you recover from this, to give you a familiar steady environment to stay in for a while," Dean replied, wanting more than anything for Sam to realize that people did care for him.

"Okay," Sam agreed and he followed Dean out to the yard again.

Bobby was watching the last of the body burn out as he turned to the boys and said, "Okay, it's done now. Are we ready to head back to the motel?" Dean looked at Sam, who was staring the pile of burnt remains that used to be Daniel Bespoke, and looked back to Bobby, nodding. "Okay then, let's get a move on." The boys followed behind Bobby, Dean first and then Sam. As they walked out of the front door, Sam turned to close the door to the house he would never return to and offered up a '_goodbye Daniel'_.

* * *

><p>The drive back to the motel was a quiet one, a sense of relief held in the air of the impala, making the drive significantly less tense than the drive to the house had been. After they got back into the room, Sam asked again if he could take a shower and Dean told him of course it was ok while thinking <em>another shower?'<em>

When Sam closed the bathroom door Dean looked at Bobby. "Jesus Bobby..," he said as he sat at the table.

Bobby got a beer from the fridge for both himself and for Dean and sat at the table across from the younger hunter. Handing him the beer, Bobby said, "I know kid. It'll take time but he'll get there." Dean nodded and Bobby said, "Listen, I'm gonna head back home after this. I'll get the place straightened up and sort a few things out before you guys arrive."

"Bobby you can't, you'll be exhausted," Dean protested.

"If I get tired I'll pull over at a motel on my way Dean, I'm not a kid ya know!" Bobby said chuckling. "You need to spend time with the kid anyway Dean, without any spirits interfering."

"Yeah I know. And thanks Bobby, for everything. I don't know what I would have..." Dean was cut off by Bobby.

"... You don't need to thank me Dean. I'd do it again if it meant keeping you two safe, you've been like a son to me for years, since your Dad..." Bobby trailed off before continuing "...Speaking of which, have you mentioned it to Sam at all?"

"No, not yet. I don't know how..." Dean replied.

"Well you should find a way, and soon. Don't leave it too long Dean," Bobby said, and Dean nodded, knowing that Bobby was right.

The bathroom door opened and Sam came out dressed in the t-shirt and sweatpants that Dean had given him. Although they were a little bit short for him, they hung loosely on his thin frame. Dean turned round and said, "Hey Sam. You feel better after that?"

Moving to sit at the table with Dean and Bobby Sam said, "Yeah a little, thanks."

Bobby stood up saying, "Okay, I'm gonna head back home now, get things sorted for you two coming to stay." Sam looked from Dean to Bobby again, his face saying 'iare you leaving because of me/i?' Bobby answered the silent question, "I'm just leaving early to get a few things sorted and to get the house ready for you guys getting there." Sam nodded and looked down at the table.

Seeing Bobby to the door, Dean again said, "Thanks for everything."

Bobby answered, "There's no need to thank me Dean, I told you already son." Noticing that Sam had joined them, Bobby turned and said, "It's great to see you kid. I know we didn't really get introduced properly or get a chance to talk properly, but I want you know I'm pleased that this idjit found you."

Sam nodded and said, "Thanks".

Bobby nodded back. "You're welcome Sam." Turning to walk out the door he said, "See you guys tomorrow."

Dean closed the door behind Bobby and turned to Sam. "Do you want anything to eat Sam?" Sam only shook his head in response. "Ok, well come and have a seat then."

As they sat at the table Sam asked, "C-can I um, can I see the photos that you showed me again?"

Dean smiled. "Of course you can Sammy, they're your photos too, you know. You don't need to ask, they're in my bag anytime you wanna see them," he told his brother as he got the photos and sat them in front of Sam. "Will you be ok looking through these if I take a quick shower?"

Sam actually smiled at Dean's question. "Yeah I'll be fine." Turning from his brother to look at the photos, he heard the bathroom door click shut. He came to the photo of the family camping trip, running his fingers over the worn photo. He remembered parts of the trip, like building a fire with Dean and watching Dad light it, and running through the woods playing tag with Dean. Moving onto the next photo - the one in front of Bobby's house - Sam stared at the house, thinking that it did look familiar; the wooden house and the cars and machinery at the side of the photo triggering another memory of a happy childhood with Dean and his Dad. Looking through the other photos, little things started to come back to Sam and he was sure now that Dean was telling the truth.

The bathroom door opened and Dean walked out of the bathroom, rubbing the towel in his hair. "Everything ok?"

"Uh, yeah. I remembered a few things," Sam said as Dean walked over to sit with Sam at the table.

"Yeah? That's great Sammy!" Dean said.

"Yeah. I remembered that trip you said we took for my birthday, and I think I remembered Bobby's house too..," Sam trailed off

"That's awesome Sam!" Dean said with a smile, keeping his excitement under control for his brothers sake..

Dean sat and filled in some blanks here and there for Sam, smiling as he spoke, remembering the happier times that they had as a family - the times when they were a father and two sons, and Dad wasn't out hunting or training the boys. After a few hours, and a few glasses of water for both after Sam had frozen stiff when Dean suggested beers, both boys went to bed.

* * *

><p>Dean had one his night's sleep since he had found Sam, and as he dozed off he dreamed about that camping trip.<p>

_The three Winchesters walked through the woods from the Impala, finding the clearing that John had talked about. "Okay guys, that's us here. Let's get the tent set up and then you two can go and find wood for the fire. Sammy you take it easy, we don't wanna hurt your arm again," John said... ... ... Running through the woods with Sam, Dean picked up a few twigs that looked big enough for a fire. "Hey Sam, you could carry some of these you know!" Sam answered with, "No Dean, I'm not supposed to. You heard what Dad said! I need to take it easy 'cause of my arm!" ... ... ... Sitting in the tent with John and Sam, Dean said, "Let's tell ghost stories." "No, Dean. We don't wanna freak Sam out, not with all the noises in the woods anyway," John said. "Please! There's much scarier things than ghost stories out there," Dean replied and Sam piped up. "I wanna hear the ghost stories Dad!" He jumped up and landed on Dean's back, pushing Dean forward, John and Sam laughing at Dean's, "Hey! And I can't even hit you back 'cause it's your birthday..." Pushing his face into Dean's, Sam exclaimed, "Nope! But I can hit you!" and he lunged at Dean again, before John finally stopped him by saying "Sam, you need to watch your arm"... ... ... Sam and Dean were running through the woods again playing tag, and they came to the river. "Hey Sam watch this," Dean called as the ran to jump into the water. Dean heard Sam say, "No, no...please...n-no..."_

Dean was pulled from his dream as the words Sam was saying continued and he realized that Sam was having a nightmare. Getting out of his bed and moving over to Sam's, he gently shook his brother. "Sam, hey Sammy... come on wake up, it's just a dream..."

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><p>Sam also dreamt about the camping trip, one of the few memories he had from his life before the Bespokes. But his dream was more mixed up than Dean's was, the images of the trip mixing with flashbacks of his time with the Bespokes.<p>

_Sam and Dean walked up to the clearing, holding the twigs that they had collected as John said, "Hey Sammy, I hope you're not putting too much stress on that arm." "No Dad, it's ok. I made Dean carry all the bigger heavier ones!" Sam called, clearly delighted with himself. After they had arranged the wood for a fire John lit a match and dropped it into the pile of wood ... ... ... "Yeah it better fucking burn," Daniel yelled as Andrew screamed that the flame was burning his back and that he was sorry. "I know you're sorry, I keep hearin' that you're sorry but you never learn do you?" "I-I-I am s-s-orry sir, it w-won't happen a-again..." ... ... ... Dean ran in front of Sam calling out, "Hey Sam watch this!" as he ran towards the river and jumped in, Sam running behind and stopping at the riverbed,not allowed to get his arm wet until the burn had healed properly ... ... ... He gasped for breath as his head was pulled up out of the bathtub. "You want to be clean? Well I'll fucking clean you then!" Daniel shouted as he forced the boy's head back into the bathtub full of water, the boy seeing stars in front of eyes as he felt himself drift away before his head was pulled out of the water again ... ... ... "Hey dad?" Sam asked, snuggling down into his sleeping bag beside Dean. "Yeah Sammy?" John asked. "Thanks for this trip, I've had the best time ever!" John laughed as he ran his hand through his son's hair. "I'm glad Sammy, I'm really glad son. Now get to sleep, we've gotta be on the road early tomorrow." Dean turned round putting his arm over Sam to give him a goodnight hug ... ... ... He felt the firm hand at his waist, pulling him closer to Daniel, feeling the man's other hand move to unbutton his trousers and then slip inside his pants. "No, no...please...n-no..." He felt a touch on his shoulder as someone called, "Sam..."_

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><p>Sam sat up suddenly, taking in a deep breath, having been pulled from his dream by Dean. As he sat up, he reached out and grabbed onto Dean and hugged him, crying as he did. Dean was shocked, but pleased that Sam clung to him for comfort, and hugged his brother back. Sam's face was buried into Dean's neck, but Dean could still understand the "Oh god... Dean... I..."<p>

Dean sighed as he rubbed his brother's back. "It's ok Sammy, I've got you now. No-one will hurt you ever again..."

TBC...

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><p>AN - So there we are, there's maybe only one or two chapters of this fic to go... I was gonna maybe end it there but I have a specific ending in mind so I decided to go with that :)

A/N 2 - Camping flashback added by suggestion/request from Creativity_Incarnate - I hope you liked it :)

Once again, I hope you all enjoyed it & please let me know your thoughts, good/bad/couldn't-care-less?


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N 1** - Firstly, I really cannot apologize enough for the length of time it's taken for me to update this... I know I had promised some of you it'd be updated ages ago, but I had a serious case of writers block - I knew where I wanted to start & where to end it, but the middle wasn't coming to me at all... Hopefully this makes up for the gap in updates!

**A/N 2** - Secondly, I know I say this all the time, but I honestly can't say how much it means to me that you guys are taking the time to read this and still commenting and even searching it out...

**A/N** - Thanks again to Beckalooby for providing the prompt for this and for sticking with me throughout the story!

**Disclaimers:** See previous chapters for Disclaimers please...

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><p>After Dean had managed to calm Sam down from his nightmare, he had asked his brother a few times if he wanted to talk about it, but Sam declined the offer by shaking his head and looking away. Dean eventually encouraged Sam to go back to sleep, explaining to him "Sam, it's like an 8 hour drive to Bobbys place from here, we need to sleep so that we can get there without me crashing the car". He made sure that he stayed awake until he heard Sams soft snores, which lulled Dean into a sleep as well.<p>

Dean woke up in the morning to the sound of water running and to the sound of the kettle boiling. As he opened his eyes and looked over to Sams bed he saw that it was neatly made, almost as though it had never been slept in. Looking in the direction of the noises he saw Sam standing over the sink, his thin frame shaking the force that he was using to wash his hands. _'Can I take a shower?'_ Sams voice rang in Deans mind, asking over and over again since he had brought his brother back to the motel. "Hey Sam" Dean said quietly as he got up, not wanting to startle his brother too much.

Sam tensed slightly then relaxed and turned around wringing his hands together "Oh, hey Dean. Do you... um... want some tea or coffee?" he asked pointing to the kettle that had just stopped boiling.

Dean smiled and nodded as he got out of bed, commenting lightly "You're up pretty early".

Sam looked down at the floor and then back to Dean, as though he wasn't sure whether Deans comment had been a general comment or if it meant he was in trouble, "Yeah, I... um... I'm used to getting up early" and looking back to the floor.

Dean nodded, unsure of what to do, deciding to let Sam open up in his own time he settled for a questioning "mmm?" as he sat on the end of the bed so that he was facing his brother.

Sam looked up at Dean and nodded, continuing with a sad smile "It was my job to get up and cook breakfast for them, so uh... yeah I'm used to early mornings..." he trailed off as his eyes looked to the side and then back to Dean.

Dean cleared his throat and met Sams eyes as he tried to reassure his brother "Well you don't need to do that now. It's different now Sam, you don't need to make breakfast for me, you'll never need to make another breakfast again if you don't want to. We go to diners to have breakfast or we order out and eat it wherever we want or happen to be." Sam nodded, clearly trying to break the eye contact but Dean wasn't letting the matter drop so easily. "I'm serious Sam... no more early mornings. I'm not such a morning person myself... so ten or eleven am is early for me" he said with a smile and Sam smiled and rewarded Dean a slight laugh. Deciding to push his luck a little, Dean stood up from the bed and walked to the bathroom as he pointed at the kettle and said "But I wouldn't say no to that cup of coffee you were making".

Sam smiled, looking relieved to have something to do, and said "Sure thing Dean" as he turned back to the kettle. Dean smiled and felt hopeful for the first time in the last few days as he closed the bathroom door. As he heard the bathroom door close, Sam looked at his hands and could feel the dirt still on them, he could see how dirty he was, as the thoughts ran through his mind _' need to clean them, can't let Dean see'_.

As he stood over the sink scrubbing his hands, he heard Daniels voice _'You'll never be clean Andrew... you're mine forever, forever my dirty little asshole'_. "No" Sam whispered as he stepped back from the sink and grabbed the towel to dry his hands. _'It's not real, he's gone'_ Sam reminded himself as he focused on the kettle and pouring Dean his coffee to keep himself busy. Dean still wasn't out of the bathroom by the time the coffee was done, and Sam found himself moving back towards the sink _'No'_ he reminded himself, and looked for something else to do to keep himself busy, _'Deans bed'_. Moving over to Deans bed, Sam made it up in the same way that he had made his own earlier that morning, smoothing out the sheets with the precision that had been beaten into him not long after he had arrived at the Bespokes home.

Dean opened the bathroom door after his shower to see Sam smoothing out the sheets, and stopped, watching him as he focused on the task at hand. Just as Sam finished methodically placing the pillow, Dean cleared his throat and Sam froze, straightening himself up slowly before turning to face Dean. Dean had always thought that the expression _'deer caught in headlights'_ was just a figure of speech until he saw that look on his brothers face. "You alright Sammy?" he asked as he walked into the room and sat down at the table.

"I, um, yeah... I just thought I'd make the bed for you?" Sam managed to turn the statement into a question of _'is that ok?'_

"Thanks Sam" Dean answered as he noted that Sam still lingered beside the bed, unsure of what to do. "How's the coffee situation coming along?" he asked in a playful tone, feeling a little guilty when Sam sprang into action to make the coffee. Once Sam put the steaming cup in front of Dean he stood beside the table, again seemingly not sure what he should be doing. "Hey Sam, why don't you grab a seat?". Sam quickly pulled out one of the seats and sat across the table from Dean, sitting almost at attention as if waiting for an order. Dean took a breath before saying "You can relax Sam" he said lightly, and Sam instantly relaxed his posture. "We need to talk dude". As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Dean regretted his word choice as the _deer caught in headlights_ look was plastered over Sams face again.

"I sorry..." Sam said, visibly trying to control himself.

"You don't need to apologize Sam. What are you even apologizing for?"

That seemed to bring Sam back to reality as he looked around him and said "I... um, sorry... it was always easier to just say sorry to them" before his eyes finally focused on Dean again.

"Okay. I want you to know that you can trust me Sam. I know I've told you that already, but you can. I can't imagine what you've gone through with them... and I know it'll take time, but I want you to listen to me when I say what I'm about to say, okay?" While Dean had been talking Sams shoulders had slumped slightly, but he looked up and nodded. Dean took a drink of his coffee and said "Damn that's some good coffee." Sams smile at the praise for his coffee wasn't lost on Dean. "Listen Sam, it's my job to look after you. I appreciate you're offering to make me coffee, and making my bed... but what I'm trying to say is that you don't need to do those things for me. I'm your big brother, and I should be doing those things for you."

"But..." Sam started, but quickly stopped and bowed his head.

Dean smiled sadly as he watched his brother slip so easily back to being the scared kid he'd first found a few days ago. "It's okay Sammy, you can say anything or ask anything you want, I'll never give you into trouble for it or think bad of you for asking."

"But I don't think that I can just stop it, it's all I've known, I don't know how to stop it" Sam said dejectedly as he sighed and dropped his gaze to the table once again.

Dean could have kicked himself, he should have known that Sam wouldn't be able to just stop the routine that he'd lived with for the last fourteen years. "Shit... Sam I'm sorry, I didn't think" he told his brother honestly. Sam looked at him with confusion and _'you're apologizing to me?'_ written on his face. Dean sighed and ran his hand through his hair as he thought _'this is gonna take some getting used to for both of us'_. He determinedly but gently said "I know it's gonna take some getting used to for you, being with me now, and not living with them and doing every damn thing for them. But I want you to promise me that you'll try. And in return I promise you that you'll always be free do to what you want and to say what you want.

Sam smiled a shy meek grin as he nodded, and Dean felt like he'd been handed the world at his feet, before responding "I'll try Dean".

"Alright, I'm gonna get packed up and then we'll go grab some breakfast and head out to Bobbys. That sound good?"

Sam nodded and hesitantly asked "Are we having breakfast here?" "Nah it'll be quicker if we go to the diner on our way out."

Sam had fear written all over his face, exactly like the fear that Dean had seen on his face the first time he saw his brother in Daniels house. "What's wrong Sam?"

"A diner... with uh, with lots of people?" Sam asked and Dean nodded. "Wh-what if they know... I-I can't be around regular people". 

_'Fuck'_ The hidden meaning of what Sam was asking him hit Dean like a ton of bricks. "Bobby and I are regular people, and you've managed to be around us perfectly fine..."

"...yeah but you're my brother, and he's your friend. And you know what happened to me. I've never been around that many people... not since..." Sam trailed off.

"Trust Sammy, no-one will be able to tell what happened to you. No-one there will even spare either of us a second glance, they'll all be too worked up in eating their breakfast and getting on with their day". Dean reassured his brother.

Sam reasoned out what Dean had said in his mind, thinking that Dean was probably right, after all he's used to these places. _'You told him you'd try, now's the time to start'_. "Y-yeah, okay" Sam said as he looked at Dean.

"You sure? I don't wanna force you into doing anything you don't want to do, or anything you're not comfortable with?" Dean asked, really meaning it. He didn't want Sam to feel pressured into this.

"Yeah, I'm sure Dean" Sam said more confidently.

Dean smiled and as he stood up he said "Okay, give me a couple of minutes to get packed up and checked out and then we'll head out".

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><p>As they pulled into the diner parking lot, Sam straightened up from his relatively relaxed position in the passenger seat, his hand moving to grab the string on the hoodie that Dean had given him. Dean noticed this out the side of eye and asked his brother as he parked the car "Are you sure you want to do this Sam? I mean, I can go in and order the stuff and bring it out if you'd prefer?"<p>

Sam was considering Deans suggestion. He really wanted to do this for Dean, who had already given me much more in the few days that he'd been with him than he'd had in the last fourteen years. He started to feel like he would be letting Dean down somehow if he didn't go into the diner, when he remembered how Daniel had told him he was useless and weak _'You're a useless piece of shit you know that? Can't do anything right, and always scared of everyone! We'll soon change that...'_, The memory made Sam all the more determined to go in with Dean. He wouldn't be that person anymore. "Y-yeah, I'm s-sure Dean. I wan't to do this..." when he saw Deans look of doubt he said "I need to do this". He swallowed down the fear at being around so many normal people in an enclosed space, knowing that he needed to prove not only to Dean, but to himself, that he could do this.

Sensing his brothers determination to go into the diner, Dean said "Ok you got it Sammy, let go".

They walked up to the diner, Dean making sure that he kept in line with Sams pace, not wanting to hurry his brother. As they reached the steps, Dean stepped in front of Sam to make sure he was first. He didn't want Sam to feel anymore overwhelmed than he already did. He was reminded of a seven year old Sam when he felt his brother grabbing hold of the bottom of his jacket, remembering when Sam would do the same thing when they were kids. Dean was relieved to see that the diner was quite empty with only a few tables being used.

Sam kept himself tucked firmly behind Dean as he heard him dealing with the waitress and they were then shown to their table, he'd heard Dean ask her for a table away from the other customers, at back of the diner if possible. As they walked past a few of the customers he kept telling himself _'you can do this, you can do this, you can do this'_, thinking that maybe Dean had been telling him the truth about people not paying them any attention as no-one had looked up from their table when he passed them.

"Sam, you wanna go in first?" Deans voice shook him from his thoughts as he realized that they had come to a stop beside a booth. It just like the ones he'd seen on TV, the few times that he'd been allowed to catch a glimpse of it. He was sure he must have in diners a good few times with his dad and Dean, but the memories weren't coming to him just now.

"Uh, yeah. Sure" Sam replied as he nodded and slid into the booth. Dean slid in beside him, and he tried to stop himself tensing up as Dean slid a little too close and his hand brushed against Sams thigh as he lifted it from the bench. A look of guilt and regret crossed Deans features as he slid over to leave a little space between them. Sam muttered "Sorry" and ducked his head to look at the table as he noticed the waitress approaching the table with menus.

"Don't worry about it Sam, I should have realized" Dean said as the menus were put down in front of each of them.

The waitress had a thick drawling accent that Sam couldn't quite place as she asked "What'll y'all have to drink?"

Dean answered her "I'll have a coffee and a coke please sweetheart... and... Sam?"

Sam felt like he'd been put under a spotlight, he couldn't bring himself to look at the woman, and he didn't know he'd need to talk to her either. He didn't know that this had been part of the deal for coming into the diner. He just assumed that Dean would have ordered for him. He could feel his heart racing and he could hear Daniels voice ringing in his mind, he could feel Daniel kicking him as he screamed _'You don't want anything you selfish son of a bitch. Anything you need, I'll make the decisions for you... you don't deserve to want anything...'_

"Sammy?" Deans voice again speared through the flashback, bringing him back to reality.

"Uh... w-water, I-I-I'll have water p-please" Sam barely whispered as he tried to control his breathing.

"He'll said have a water please" Dean told the waitress who pulled a face when she hadn't been able to hear Sams whispered request. She scribbled down the drinks order saying "I'll come back for your food order" as she walked away.

Turning to look at his brother, Dean noticed that Sam was shaking and still looking at the table. "You okay Sam?"

"I... I j-just... I'm not..." Sam stopped to take a breath and tried to compose himself. He tried again "I'm not used to making decisions. Anything I needed Daniel got for me" Sam risked looking up from the table to Dean, expecting to see anger at how useless he was, but instead he saw that Dean had that same look of guilt, with a little bit of understanding.

"Shit, Sam I'm sorry. I didn't realize, I didn't even think. I should have known..." Dean was surprised to be cut off when Sam interrupted him.

"... No you shouldn't apologize. I'm just not used to doing things like this. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing Sam. I'm saying sorry to you for putting you on the spot like that, and for not thinking that you wouldn't be used to it". Dean wanted to kick himself for not realizing that Sam might have felt like he was being put under pressure.

"I-it's okay Dean. I'm gonna have to learn to talk to people eventually..."

"...Yeah but not before you're ready. In future if you're not comfortable you tell me or nudge me or something okay?"

"Yeah, thanks Dean." Sam said, still feeling like he'd let Dean down somehow.

Dean decided that maybe distracting Sam from what had happened would be the best idea, he opened his menu and, making sure to choose words carefully he asked his brother "So, what do you feel like eating?" as he started to browse the menu.

Sam, as Dean had hoped, followed his example and opened the menu, paying close attention to it and paying much more attention to it than Dean had to his. "Uhm... I'm not sure..." he trailed off as he started to closely examine the menu again. Sam looked at all the foods that were offered and he honestly couldn't remember ever seeing such a wide variety. It made him a little upset to think that although he must have been in places like this with Dad & Dean he couldn't remember it.

"You alright Sam?" Dean asked, sensing his brothers mood.

"Yeah I'm okay Dean, just can't decide what I want." He answered as he turned back to study the menu. Not wanting to take too much time, or to order anything too expensive he settled on toast, and after encouragement from Dean he agreed to a boiled egg with the toast.

The waitress returned and handed them both their drinks, and Dean gave her Sams order as Sam returned his gaze to the table, and ordered a full breakfast with extra toast for himself.

"You sure you're okay Sam? You know you can talk to me" Dean asked, genuinely worried about the dip that Sams mood had taken.

"Yeah, I was just thinking..." Sam trailed off.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I was just thinking that I must have been in places like this with you and dad right?" Dean nodded and Sam continued, unable to hide the upset from his voice "But I can't remember it. I can't remember ever being in a place like this, eating food like this..."

"It's understandable Sam. I know it must be frustrating for you, and I don't know if you'll ever get those memories back. But we'll make new ones." Dean tried to reassure his brother. He honestly didn't know how it must feel for Sam not being able to remember his life before the Bespokes except for little bits here and there, but he did know that he would help his brother wherever he could.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Sam answered. "So what happened to dad?" he asked, wondering why Dean hadn't called their dad instead of Bobby to come and help.

Dean did his best to keep his face natural, and keep his panic at answering Sams question under wraps. "He had to go away, I haven't able to contact him for a while now" he blurted out before he even knew what he was saying. Sam seemed to accept it.

Thankfully he was spared any explaining any further when the waitress came back with their food and placed it on the table, giving them a curious glance as Sams head was bowed once again to look at the table. Dean gave her a look that said _'Don't even think about commenting'_ and she backed off, bidding them an "enjoy your breakfast" as she walked back to the kitchen.

They ate their meal in silence, Dean enjoy his first decent meal in a few days, and Sam taking his time and savoring the food as he ate it, enjoying being able to take his time with the food without fear of it being taken away from him. Since Dean was finished first, he suggested "Hey Sam, I'm gonna go pay up just now and use the bathroom quickly just to save time. Are you okay to wait here while I do that?"

Sam was worried at being left alone with all these strange people, but he felt confident in the fact that no-one had bothered with them so far, so he agreed reluctantly.

"You'll be able to keep an eye on me and then the door to the bathroom if you get worried or freaked, just come get me okay?" Dean reassured his brother. Sam nodded and returned to eating his toast and egg. Dean smiled and thought to himself _'That's my little brother'_ with pride as he stood up and went to pay the bill.

Sam kept a watchful eye on Dean as he payed the waitress who had greeted them when they first came into the diner, and kept watching him as he went through the door into the bathroom. He started eating his food again and when he looked up to look at the bathroom door he saw a man that he was sure he recognized from somewhere sitting at the table across the aisle from him. He brushed it off as he wasn't sure how he knew the man, and returned to his food. He felt Dean slide into the booth beside him and looked up to see Dean smiling questioningly at him.

"I was fine Dean" he answered, seemingly knowing what Dean wanted to ask.

"Good, I'm glad. Told you it'd be fine coming here didn't I?" Dean replied.

Sam smiled and huffed a laugh saying "Yeah you did. Thanks Dean" as he returned to eating his food.

Dean opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by a voice behind him asking "Hey, how you doing kid?"

Sam looked up in shock to see the man from the table across the aisle now standing at the end of their table and looking at him. "I-I... uh..." he stammered, not knowing what to say, but all too painfully aware of where he knew this man from and how well they'd gotten to know each other. The thought of it made him bow his head again in fear and put his arms across his chest to protect himself.

Dean looked from the man to Sam and back again in shock, a painful awareness railroaded it's way into his mind as Sams body language and shuttered facial expression registered. "And who the hell are you?" he asked the man.

"Oh, how rude of me, I didn't introduce myself" the man said, feigning politeness. He held his hand out to for Dean to shake as he said "My name is Kyle. Andrew and I go way back" and he dropped his hand to his side as Dean didn't shake it.

Dean heard Sams breath quicken and he could practically feel Sam shaking even though there was enough space between them. "Oh?" It was all that Dean could bring himself to say, as he fought down the murderous rage that he knew would be wrong to let out in a diner full of people.

"Yeah, he is Daniels kid right?" Kyle asked and, and then addressed Sam "Andrew? Aren't you even going to look at me?"

Sam kept his head down, and squeezed his eyes shut as he was addressed. Dean stood up, forcing Kyle to back away from the table as he forced out "His. Name. Is. Sam." through his teeth in a bid to control his rage. "Back the fuck off you filthily bastard" as the other customers in the diner turned to face them.

"Funny, I could say the same thing about our Andrew here. You can't tell me you can't say it?" Kyle retorted and Dean heard Sam whimper in fear from behind him.

"No, actually I can't say the same thing. You know why?" Kyle shook is head as though they were having a natural everyday conversation. Dean continued "because his name is not Andrew, it's Sam. And Sam is my brother. If you even dare so much as look at him again I'll burst your nose, and that's just for starters. We clear?" Dean turned to Sam and said "C'mon Sam, we're leaving this shithole town." Sam looked up at Dean, his eyes filled with tears and his face filled with shame and slid towards the end of the booth.

Dean heard Kyle move closer again as he said "I'll be seeing you around Andrew. I'll need to set up another meeting, it's been far too long".

Dean turned sharply as he yelled, "Did you not hear anything I just fucking said?" pulling his fist back he connected it hard with Kyles nose, as blood sputtered from it and Kyle landed on the floor holding hand hands to his face. There was a collective alarmed gasp from the other people in the diner.

Dean held his hand out for Sam saying "Come on Sam. Lets go".

Sam looked from Dean to Kyle and back to Dean. He knew after witnessing this that Dean would protect him, and that he wouldn't hurt him. He grabbed onto his brother hand, holding it tightly as they left the diner.

Dean wasn't happy with what he had done, but he noted that no-one had dared to stop him as he left the diner with his brother, taking him to Bobbys where they could both help Sam to recover and perhaps one day live a relatively normal life.

_'TBC...'_

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><p><strong>AN - ** So there's the next part, I hope you enjoyed reading it. Please let me know what your thoughts are, whether good or terrible. I really love hearding feedback and it really does help me to improve.


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